Mixed Signals.

77.

I just stared at the photo on my phone screen I took this morning when everything was still perfect. Erin stood there holding Harvey, a massive smile on her face. Why did I deserve this now? Why? Why was it right to take my wife and my 2 children away from me? Why did this have to happen to us? I let out this almighty painful yell to get the anger out. I was kneeling down next to Kim still watching with this sick feeling as the fire department lads were swimming around. The truck began pulling something up and then the car emerged from the water. Kelly was in the passenger seat tending to Erin. Matt was in the back with the kids and when the car was put down I went to run over but Hank grabbed me and stopped me.

"Let them work." He sighed. I watched anxiously as my family were laid out. Erin wasn't bloody or anything. She had a small cut on her head and she wasn't awake but apart from that she looked fine? Florence was covered in blood and not moving at all. Suddenly Gabby and some of the guys were around Flo and then Brett and the others were doing CPR on Harvey. Please no way was I about to lose my family. I pushed Hank and ran to them and as I did Kelly grabbed me and held me back.

"Let me see my wife." I shouted.

"If you don't give me room they aren't going to be able to do anything. You need to stay back and give them room to work." He slapped me gently but hard enough to knock some sense into me. I stood back and then I heard Erin cough and splutter and then laugh as Gabby spoke to her.

"Where's Jay?" She whispered gently.

"I'm here!" I called as Gabby let me go and I ran over to her. I knelt down next to her and kissed her soaking wet freezing cold face. I put my jacket on her as she sat up under the foil blanket over me.

**

The trip to the hospital was killer. Harvey was taken straight into resus and we weren't allowed to see him yet. Florence was rushed into surgery because she had been shot in the chest and there was a concern it was causing damage to her new heart and the surgery she'd had so while that was all going on. Erin had been admitted to this ward where we got to lay in this bed together with the curtains drawn. We had a tinfoil blanket over us and she was wearing my hoodie. She had her hair scraped back and she was so pale and had black eye patches and she was freezing cold. Will come in and pulled the curtain back and come in.

"How is she?" He smiled.

"Freezing. Can we have another radiator please?" I sighed. Within minutes we had a new radiator be placed in. Like in addition to our other 6 in here. I was so worried about everyone and everything going on.

**

Harvey was bought into us and Erin was fast asleep but then I picked him up out of in the incubator and put him on my chest under the foil blanket. He was already in his own foil blanket. Erin moved her hand over to him and he wrapped his hand around her whole finger and she smiled against my chest.

"I'll wake you when I know more about Florence." I smiled kissing her forehead.

"Thank you." She mumbled as she was shivering against me. Hank went and sat outside the surgery waiting for Florence for us both. It had been 3 hours and Erin was shivering even harder and when I tapped her and tried to wake her up she didn't wake up. I picked up Harvey and put him back in the little incubator and then I got up and moved back away from Erin. When I looked at her she had bright blue lips, she wasn't even shivering anymore. I touched her hand and she was cold stiff.

"Help? Someone help me please?" I called out loud as a nurse come in with a smile.

"What's happened?" She smiled.

"She isn't right." I bit my nails in frustration as I began to cry.

"Can you take Harvey and give us some space please?" She smiled. I picked up Harvey in the foil blanket and we headed out of the room and to find Hank in the long hallway. I approached him and sat down with a smile.

"How's everyone?" He smiled.

"We got asked to leave because they needed to do something to Erin. She was so freezing cold, she is really poorly." I sighed.

"Oh right okay." He yawned with a big tired sigh. He rested his hand on my knee and nodded in a reassuring way which made my heart relax and feel better.

***

5 hours later and we were back on the ward and Florence was fast asleep and resting up. Erin was on a drip but doing slightly better. She had a normal body temperature and Harvey was resting. I sat on the armchair between them both. We had this corner of the ward and they were both in beds. I sat there and smiled at Erin when she woke up and she sat up. She just looked at me with this horrified expression before she burst into tears.

"It was my fault. We crashed because of me."

"Erin stop. I need to tell you something that happened." I sighed.

"What's wrong?" She sighed wiping her eyes.

"The bullet that hit Florence. It didn't come from the shooter. That bullet come from my gun, in my hand. I shot Florence." I stared at her for a few minutes as she looked back at me. The anger building up inside her. She just let out this scream and began throwing stuff at me.

"Get out. Get the fuck out. Pack your bags and leave us alone. You aren't seeing our children again. How dare you. Leave us the fuck alone." She screamed.

"Erin don't do this?" I sighed with a small smile.

"Don't you dare smile. Leave." She looked down shaking her head. I stood up and planted a final kiss on her forehead before walking out and shutting the door quietly behind me. I went out and sat in my car and just punched the steering wheel several times. I cried and screamed.

**

I opened the door and grabbed his arm. I closed the door behind me. He kept hitting out. I grabbed both of his hands and fought back against him.

"JAY FUCKING STOP." I shouted. He was crying so much he couldn't even talk to me. He kept trying to push his arms against me and kept trying to flip out. "Jay please stop think of the kids." I sighed.

"I'm sorry..." He sighed. He let me hold his hand and he wiped his eyes. I kissed his hand gently and then he hugged me. "I'm so sorry." He smiled as he put my face resting in his hand and he leant forwards and kissed me.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled gently as he kissed me again.

**

"How are you holding up?"

"Good. Fell out with Jay. Like he's gone off somewhere." I sighed as I laid in bed with Harvey on my chest and I fed him a bottle. Florence was fast asleep in the same bed next to me hugging me too.

"Okay hun. I'll go find him. Talk to him. Want him to come back?"

"Of course I want him to come back. He's my husband." I smiled gently as Connor nodded before drawing the curtains and leaving us in the bed.