The beginning of everything

Chapter 5 Cuts

Authors note: Sorry that I didn't uploaded for a couple days. I had a loads of work at school. Now my new chapter.

Calum POV

I didn't understand why Michael got mad, I mean wasn't it nice that his fans defended him? I wish people fought for me the way I fought for them, that would be so cool. As long as I know Michael is a confident man and has people who fought for him. He was lucky. I wish I could be like him, that would be so cool. No one gave me the feeling of love or showed me that they cared. My mom died when I was 3 years old, I sadly do not remember that much about her. Only that she was kind and loving, when my mom died, the year after that, my dad stared the fighting with me. My current age is 17, so we are fighting for 14 years. I wish I left the house sooner. Why am I such an idiot? I felt like I was dead already. I did not feel good about myself and I hated myself. There was never a good time to make friends because I will always doubt myself and them actually liking me. I wanted to cry, and I fought to keep it all in, but I failed.

Ashton POV

I was looking at my phone, I looked up if anything interesting was happening because were just sitting around. I look at the boys and see Calum crying silently, did we hurt him? "Calum, hey, are you okay?" I asked him softly. "I'm sorry," he said silently, barely a sound coming out. He wiped away his tears right after that. "C'mon, I have an idea" I said friendly, I stood up and stuck out my hand to help Calum out of his seat. We walked to the music room, music always helped me relieve any stress I head. It truly cleared my head. I sat down at the drum kit and Calum sat on a stool that was in front of the drums. "Go ahead, tell me" I said to him, waiting for him to start talking. Calum let out a deep sigh, "I just.. I don't know Ash, can I call u ash?" I nodded. "I just feel so lost, like I am stuck in a 6ft deep hole with a broken leg, no one there to help me out. I just want someone to care about me. After my mom died, my dad started to rely on alcohol and beating me. It seems like I never had a life, a lost childhood." I looked at Calum, that's all I did. I looked at him, I needed time to progress this. "You know Calum, everywhere there are gonna be people who dislike you. I know it is hard out there. But try to focus on the good things. Like, I don't know, hanging out with us. That's fun, right? You could focus on that and other small good things." Calum nodded, he stopped crying, there were soft sniffles coming from him. "Thank you, you are a good person," he said. "Now let's play some music"

Michael POV

I saw Calum cry, but I didn't know what to do. I am bad at comforting people, even though I want to. Ashton noticed as well and he took him to the music room. He always knew what to do when people felt bad. He was blessed. After a while I started hearing some drums and bass. it sounded pretty rad. I stood up and decided to join them. Once in the room I took the guitar and started playing along what seemed to be Teenage Dirtbag. God, I loved that song

--

After a while of playing, Calum had told me what was wrong.I felt glad he told me. It kinda made me sad, I am very emotional and felt some tears coming up. I tried wiping my eyes like you do when you are tired, I didn't want to cry in front of people. No one ever has seen my cry, I don't like to show my weaknesses. I cry myself a lot to sleep now a days, no one can know about this. No one can know how depressed I truly am. They need to think I am a strong and stable person. My fans too, they look up to us, I cannot let that show. Whatever, Michael you are overthinking again. "Shall we go back to Luke," I suggested. They nodded

Luke POV

I was scrolling through my twitter, what happens quite often is that people call me a life saver. I always get confused by this because they did not know me. Even if they did, they got themselves through the day and I didn't. I may have supported them but never made them do it. So I decided to go on twitter and ask the fans: "Hey guys, you say I am lifesaver quite often. What do you mean by this? I never saved anyone?" I got a lot of same reactions, the basic once. "Fuck me, daddy" "I love you" Come to my city" "Punch me in the face." There were also some hate comments in there. I am human, and these people forget that it sometimes hurts me. After a while I got a notification that a fan had sent me a message. I opened the chat and got to see a picture. I thought it was fan art, which we mostly get. But I was wrong, oh how I was wrong. It wasn't a drawing, a cute message saying they loved me or anything positive. Right under the picture it said "this is why you are a lifesaver," right above the text the picture showed an arm, with faded scars. I messaged her back, "are you okay? Promise me you stop inflicting pain on yourself. You are beautiful the way you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I didn't want my fans to get hurt. She had to be told that she is gorgeous the way she is and that she is no less than anyone. "I can't promise you Luke, I wish I could stop" she replied. I was afraid she would hurt herself again and maybe she would cut wrong and bleed to death. "What's your hometown?" I asked, planning to help her. "My home town is in the dark. Wales, it was a twenty one pilots reference sorry" she replied quickly. "I will come to the biggest church they have in Wales, google it. 7 p.m. See you tomorrow," I said and locked my phone. "Boys, pack your things! We have to go to Wales" I screamed to them.