Would You Look At The Time (Book One)

On The Road

     I lowered myself into my car and tossed my black duffel bag into the back seat. I heard it drop and slowly roll off the backseat as I keyed the ignition and drove away from my cold, empty apartment. The streets of New York were crammed with tourists and business men. Every street, ever avenue bustling with moving bodies. None of them knowing what would happen to them later that day. Would they find true love? Would they become famous? Would their life intertwine with a celebrity like mine had only weeks ago? No one would know, and that fascinated me greatly.

     Finally out of the polluted place I call home I was driving on the highway and I flicked the radio and music slowly blared over my old car speakers. 'Say Something' by Great Big World hummed around my car.
Say something
I'm giving up on you
now

     Tears pricked my eyes. What if my dad was so sick that he was going to die because of this illness taking over his life. Would his life be taken by a different species, or would he be able to fight it until his dieing breath. I had no idea, and that terrified me. I remember when I was younger, I read a lot, and I was huge fan of John Green. His metaphors and love stories. He was an amazing writer and a quote that stood out to me at this very moment was from Looking For Alaska.
"How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?"

     And it got me thinking, is there any way to escape from this hell that we call life? Or is it an endless cycle that we can never escape? Is this the burden of the human race?

     After driving for four hours I heard my stomach yelling at me for anything. I pulled over and drove through a Burger King drive-thru. I slowly ate the fast food as I drove, I didn't have time to stop.

     I drove into the late hours of the night. At three in the morning I decided to pull over on the deserted road and crawl into the backseat to sleep. I curled up, trying to contain as much body heat as possible, using my packed duffel bag as a shitty pillow.  I slowly drifted in and out of sleep and by 7a.m I was driving once more.

     The road was quiet and had a haunting aura. I drove through deserts and towering mountains. By four in the afternoon I was parking across the street from Burnham Hospital. I pulled myself out of the car, I wasn't read for what was going to be on the other side of the door. I grabbed my cellphone and checked for any new messages.
Sebastian
Are you okay?
Me
I have arrived.
Sebastian
Okay.

     And that reminded me of The Fault In Our Stars.
"Maybe Okay will be our Always,"

     And I decided that Okay will be Sebastian's and I's Always, like it was for Hazel and Augustus.

    I shoved my phone into my jean pocket and strolled across the street. I approached the large glass doors and hesitated before pushing them open. I sat in an uncomfortable blue chair and drifted in and out of sleep, again. I pulled my phone out and texted my mum.
Me
I'm here.

     I pulled my legs up into the chair and curled up into a tiny ball, so many emotions were trying to get to me. Trying to steal my heart. Pain, Sadness, Anger, Loss. I pushed them away as my mother entered the waiting room. Her short brown hair symbolizing mine and her dark purple eyes reflecting on me. She was a short woman, I deduced that she was 5"3' at best. I unwrapped myself and stood. Her eyes were glossy with sleep deprivation and red with tears. Her lips seemed to have been frozen in a bitter frown, her arms only ever uncrossing to hug me.

     "Hi mum," I said.

     "Hi honey, its nice to see you," She said after pulling away from our hug. I smiled and she led me to my father's hospital bed. "Here she is," She said to my father. He tilted his head to see me, our eyes locking. He looked awful. His cheeks were pale and his lips were tinted blue. His hair was slowly falling out and even though his lips curled into a smile, his eyes were not smiling. His eyes were screaming with pain and regret.