Beats by Heart - Yoonmin/Jikook

-Track 9-

Jimin had spent half of the week at Jin's already, and Jungkook would still not talk to him. He had told his friend the whole story while he had sobbed into the beauties lap, but he still did not feel better.

So, when Wednesday came, he decided he needed to dance it all off and vanished into one of the dance studios after classes. He found hard rap to be fitting for the hate he carried for himself, so he turned on a playlist of Yoongi's collaborations with other rappers and started to warm up. The addicting bass lines vibrated through his body and he could feel the self-hatred bubble up in his chest. He was betraying the two of the most important people in his life. Both loved him and he was cheating on them. What an ignorant, egocentric prick he was. He felt so damn guilty.

With a reckless force he started to dance and torture the wooden floor. The walls shook from the loud music, and he completely gave in. He deserved the burning muscles and the headache he would have after this. He deserved to suffer. For several intense minutes, he pushed his body to its limits.

But was it really wrong to love two people? Because he was almost sure he felt more for Yoongi than just lust or platonic love. So, had it been wrong to give in to the gentleness of the composer? He was not using him; he really held him dear. And he loved Jungkook, his lovely bunny with the cute smile and the almost evil laugh. Pain clawed his chest, and before he knew it, he just slid to the floor and cried.

The music suddenly hurt his ears and he wished it would turn off, but he could do nothing but hugging himself and swaying forwards and backwards.

He did not know how long he had sat there, tears already dry, when footsteps echoed through the room and the music finally was turned off. Tired, he looked up to the intruder, and a weak smile formed on his lips. Yoongi looked at him worriedly.

"Are you alright?" he asked with a doubting expression.

Jimin just shook his head. "Can I come to your place?" he asked quietly. He needed someone who gave him love and kissed away the ugly feelings.

"Course. But let me get the second helmet from my studio," the rapper replied and headed off again.

Fighting down the nasty little voice at the back of his head, he waited for the other to return.

"Are you ready?" the gentle husky voice asked from the door. And Jimin nodded and got up.

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When he woke up, he needed some time to find out where he was. Cigarette smoke bit his nose, but the blanket that covered his naked body felt soft and warm. Right, he was at Yoongi's. But why did it smell like smoke?

Drowsy, he rolled on his side and saw the rapper sitting on the edge of the mattress with a cigarette between his fingers. He could only see the bony back that was covered under a white button-down, but the bent posture spoke of melancholy. What was up with his composer?

"I love you," he whispered quietly and reached out for the blonde's back. Soothingly his fingers ran over the snow-white fabric. And he felt that his words were true hen they left his lips.

"No, you don't, Jimin," the husky voice replied, shattering the warm feeling of comfort into pieces. He pulled back his hand. What did Yoongi just say? "You're fascinated by me, but you sadly don't love me," the rapper continued.

Jimin could not understand what was happening. Had they not had a great, loving night? Had they not been smiling at each other and giggling between sweet kisses? Had he missed something?

"Please leave."

The elder's words were like a slap in the face.

The first tears blurred his vision, but he got up nevertheless. Angry he grabbed his clothes from the floor and gathered them on the mattress before he slipped into them. How could the composer say he did not love him? How would he know? Why was he always pushing him away? Jimin sniffed and brushed away the wet trails on his face. He hated how much he cried recently, hated the pain in his chest that clunk to him like a disease.