Josh's POV
One week later.
When I woke up, Leeland wasn't there. She'd been staying here the last few days and I was used to waking up with her beside me. I sighed, sat up and rubbed my eyes. The first thought that popped into my head was simple. I need coffee. As I walked upstairs from my room in the basement, I noticed my mom and Leeland sitting at the table. I stayed hidden behind the wall and listened in on their conversation. "Mrs. Ramsay, I'm not trying to be rude, but Josh needs treatment. He can't go around using heroin to get through his problems. It's not healthy and in fact it's a little scary..." Thanks Leeland. Well, truth is, I do get a little violent when I'm high. Leeland snapped at me once and she ended up with bruises. I held back tears, waiting for my mothers response. "He's only going if he agrees. I can't force him. No one can." I slowly stepped into the kitchen, making my ancient house creak. Both of their heads snapped in my direction. I smiled weakly and shuffled over to the coffee maker, tears making their way down my cheeks. My mother was the first to speak up. "Josh-" I honestly did not want to hear their apologies. "Don't talk to me...p-please..." Oh, fuck you emotions. I've had that stupid fucking stutter since I was young. My mom sighed and stepped back. I choked on a sob and slid to the ground. Leeland got up and tried to pull me into her arms but I pulled away instantly. "Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed at them, curling into a tight ball. "Don't FUCKING touch me..." I sniffled and gripped my hair, shaking. "Josh, honey..." I hate fucking pet names. "Joshua, you need help...please..." I silently shook my head, curling up tighter. "No...I...I'm perfectly fine." I wiped my eyes and looked up at everyone. My sisters, Ange and Sara were standing there with my dad. They must of rushed in when they heard me screaming. Great. "Josh, please...you need to get better! None of this is healthy! What do you weigh?! 135 again?!?" Ange screamed at me. I smirked and looked back down. 115 actually. "Well?!" Ange screamed. "How much do you weigh?! Honestly, if you lie to me I will lose it, Josh!" I shrunk back and stared up at my sister. She'd never been this mad at me. "115..." I sniffled and bit my lip. "I weigh 115, Ange..." I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling even more vulnerable now in my tank top and shorts. Ange just kind of stared at me while everyone else had a shocked expression on their face. What did they expect from a 16 year old heroin addict? "What..?" I sniffled and rubbed my eyes. Sara choked on a sob and walked quickly out of the room. "B-but you've been eating so much lately...you must've gained a few pounds." my mom stared at me, utterly confused with the situation. "Maybe he just throws it all up like his idiot ex girlfriend did. Josh, you're so fucking stupid! How could you?!" Ange screamed at me again, making me feel like I was seven inches tall. "Ange, that is enough!! Your brother already feels awful!" my dad screamed and pulled me up by my arm. I whimpered and bit my lip. I guess no one noticed all the needle marks on my arms. I looked over at Leeland with pleading eyes. "I just wanna go back to sleep...please, can we talk about this later..?" I sniffled and pulled away slowly. My dad yanked me back and scowled. "No! You need help!" I looked over at my mom, tears finding their way down my cheeks again. My dad was literally dragging me out the door. I'd never been this upset before. I whimpered and choked on a sob. "Mommy.." I tried to pull away and just got a tighter grip around my arm. "Mom!" My dad kicked my shoes over to me. "Mom, please! Why aren't you doing anything?!? I'm your only son, why aren't you helping me?!? Mom! Please..." I broke down at that point and I sunk to the ground, bawling. "I just wanna stay home. I'll get better, I promise! I promise, okay! Please, just leave me alone.." my dad finally let go of my arm and I just curled up at the front door. Leeland walked over to me and sat down beside me. "Josh, I am so sorry..." she whispered and stroked my hair gently. "You don't deserve any of this...I'm so sorry..." she turned my head and kissed me gently. "I love you so much, Josh...Get better..for me, your family and most importantly, yourself..okay? You need to work this out." she pecked my lips and pulled me up gently. I clung to her and followed her back into my room in the basement. She laid me down on my bed and sat down beside me. "Just calm down, okay?" I coughed and nodded, tears dried on my cheeks. " I love you, Josh..you are perfect porcelain." I smiled for the first time that day and closed my eyes. Why did I do to deserve her?
I woke up the next morning, fearing what was waiting for me upstairs. I sniffled and threw my legs over the side of my bed and shuffled upstairs. I slept all day yesterday and I felt a lot better today. My family was sitting around the dining room table with about 20 brochures splayed out on the table. I sighed and turned back around, heading back downstairs, but Ange stopped me. "Josh, get your ass back here!" I bit my lip and turned back around. I sat down beside Sara and she wrapped her arm around me. "Just look at a couple, kay?" I shook my head and looked down. I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted to stay home and get better. "Please, Joshua..." my mom put her hand on my shoulder and sighed. "Mom, I don't want to...I wanna stay here...Leeland will help me get better. She promised." I got up and sighed, slipping on my shoes. "I'm going to see Leeland..." I walked next door and knocked on the front door. Leeland's mom answered. "Hello, Joshua." she looked me up and down and frowned. "Are you alright? Here, come inside." She'd always treated me like her own son. She ushered me inside and sat me down on the couch. "Joshua, what's wrong?" I curled up instantly and sniffled. "It's Josh..." she looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry...Josh, what's wrong..?" Should I tell her? She'd find out from Leeland sooner or later. "My parents are planning on sending me to rehab.." I mumbled and picked at the scabs on my arms. Leeland's mom stared at me. "What for?" I bit my lip. Well. Here goes nothing. "I've been abusing heroin for the past year and a half. I'm also bulimic..." I sniffled, tears starting to roll down my cheeks. Leeland's mom sat beside me and hugged me gently. "Oh, Josh...why?" I looked up when I heard the floor creak. Leeland was peeking around the corner from the hall. I got up instantly and hugged her tightly, placing tiny kisses all over her face. "I love you so much, Leeland. So so so much." Leeland blushed and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Josh, what're you doing here?" I whimpered and stroked her hair. "My parents want to send me to rehab.." Leeland pouted and gripped my hips. "But I want you to stay..." I sighed and kissed her cheek. "It's my choice...they can't make me. But, if you want me to. I'll go. For you." I smiled and held her close. Leeland's eyes filled with tears and she buried her face into my neck. I frowned and rubbed her back. "Don't cry...if I go, I won't be gone long I promise."
