Beaches

ten

(song for chapter: Where Is My Mind? - Pixies)

I bring him inside the house and he falls on the couch. No use in trying to bring him up like this, he's too tired to even stand. I take off his sneakers and run upstairs to grab his blanket and pillow. I throw his blanket over my shoulder and pick up his pillow. Underneath is a half-drunk bottle. Some kinda alcohol. The label has been worn away so I can't read it.

Why would he need this?

I grab the bottle and take it downstairs with the pillow and blanket. I pour whatever's left out in the sink and walk back into the living room. He's already knocked out. I put the pillow under his head and put the blanket over his body. When I walk over to the stairs he speaks.

"Tyler?" He asks.

He doesn't pronounce my name correctly.

"Stay here." He adds.

"Y-yeah." I reply.

I run upstairs and grab my own pillow and blanket. I lay down on the floor beside the couch. His hand hangs over the side of the bed, I can't help but stare at it.

How many other hands has he held with that hand? How many bottles has he held with that hand? How many people has he held with that hand?

I fall asleep.

...

~Josh~

My eyes slowly widen and adjust to the light. The curtains cover the windows so that helps. I look around and see Tyler. He looks so ... peaceful. He's exhausted, the skin under his eyes is deep purple. I can't help but give a soft smile.

Then the hangover starts. My head starts pounding but I'm all too used to this so I power through and get up. My mouth is too dry. I stumble to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I almost drain it and then I hear a voice.

"Josh?" Tyler says, his voice is raspy but kind.

"Hey." I turn and smile, closing the bottle.

He gets up to his feet.

"Good morning." He yawns.

He stretches his back and his shirt goes up a little, I can't help but stare. Then it goes back down.

"Morning." I say. "You look worse than me."

He makes his way over to me.

"You don't feel sick or anything?" He asks.

"No I'm-" I stop myself. "Yeah, thirsty really."

"Well I'm gonna go upstairs, I'll see you later." He says.

He's in a rush to get away from me.

"Hey wait," I start.

I have no control over what I'm saying.

"Why did you sleep down here last night?"

"You asked me to stay." He says, his voice shaky.

He grabs his blanket and pillow and goes back upstairs, leaving me down here alone.

~Tyler~

I wish he asked me to stay with him again. I don't want to be up here by myself. The only way he'd want me to be near him is when he's drunk. I don't get why I can't just realize that he doesn't like me when he's sober and stop thinking about him. I don't know why I started thinking about him in the first place. I don't know what happened between us before when we were alone in his room but it won't happen again.

I want it to.

He definitely doesn't, that's obvious. I guess we're moving past that though. Things have gotten less awkward when I'm hanging out with Josh. I still think about him a lot though. I think about what I'm gonna say next. I think about if he thinks I'm thinking about him. I think about if he's thinking about me.

I put the pillow and blanket back on the bed and slump onto it, staring at the ceiling.