Turmoil | Spruceworth 5.1 (#Wattys2018)

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Shaw

       Kendra wasn't lying when she told me she didn't want me going near the kids until I wasn't drinking anymore. Normally, they stayed over at my and Holden's house every other weekend.

       Not this time.

       She called me to let me know that I wouldn't be watching them this weekend. I kept trying to tell her that I really wasn't in too deep with the drinking and there would be no way in hell I would drink around the kids, but she wouldn't listen to any of it.

       So I was in a bad mood like I had been the past couple days.

       And of course, me being in an horrible mood was making me crave a drink. I kept trying to tell myself to not go out to Fusion and get a drink, and that the craving would pass. 

       It wasn't passing.

       I started pacing around the house, though being as quiet as I could since Holden was napping on the couch. 

       Unfortunately, pacing around was doing any good and once I got close enough to the door, I was about to put on my shoes to head out to Fusion. However, I took one glance at Holden sleeping before walking over and kneeling down beside the couch. I really didn't want to wake him up, but I needed his help.

       I gently shook him awake and he stirred around a bit before rolling over on his side and opening his eyes. "Hey," he said tiredly. "Did I nap for too long?"

       "No, you didn't," I said. "I just... I really need your help with something and I don't know what else to do because my mind is telling me one thing even though I don't want to do it and I'm just stressing out right now."

       Holden sat up. "You want to drink?"

       "I don't want to drink," I said. "I'm craving it but believe me, I don't want to."

       "We can go for a walk," Holden said. "That might help you take your mind off of things."

       "Wouldn't you rather stay home and rest?" I asked.

       "Well, you did wake me up," Holden pointed out. "And yes, I do want to rest, but I promised you I'd help you get through this. I'm not just gonna take a nap when you're really craving alcohol right now. I'm going to do whatever it takes, even if it means sacrificing sleep."

       I smiled softly. "Thank you. Seriously, you are the best husband I could ever ask for."

       "I know," Holden said.

       I rolled my eyes before giving him a quick kiss. We both then stood up and walked to the front door, putting out shoes on before leaving the house and locking the door behind us. There wasn't really much I wanted to do in the village, so we just walked around.

       I hoped Kendra didn't take the kids anywhere because if I ran into them, seeing them was only going to break my heart. Kendra would just immediately take them away and I didn't know if I could handle it.

        Walking around helped a bit, but not too much. At least I was getting some fresh air right now. I didn't really leave the house recently unless I had to work because there were a lot of people I didn't want to bump in to.

       It was best if I just stayed inside where one of the few people that still cared about me was.

       While Holden and I were walking around, I saw Jane walking through the village and she definitely didn't look like the happiest person. In fact, she looked the most upset I had ever seen here.