the oblivion

two

two.

on a wednesday morning i saw ellis again walking towards the bench where we shared our first kiss. i sat there patiently waiting, pretending that it was plain coincidence that i was there.

ellis sat down on the spot a few spaces next to me. he carried a blue book with black and white clouds on the front. it read: the fault in our stars.

i placed out a small smile and almost cried when i saw it. it was his favorite book. and i wondered if today he remembered.

he turned to me and gave me a small wave, the kind of wave you'd give a stranger. then i realized, he didn't remember. i waved back and he turned to his book.

ellis flipped over the pages, he would glide his hands on the paper and every time he would, he'd smile to himself and turn the page again.

i took a deep breath. "have you finished it?"

ellis slightly jumped from the sudden sound of my voice but he looked up to me and shook his head no.

i sighed to myself and looked down at my shoes.

"but it feels like i know everything about it, like i've read it millions of times." ellis suddenly spoke. my head snapped toward ellis again and he was looking at me with a genuine smile. "it's like i have an attachment to it." he adds.

"it's a lovely book really. you should read it." i told him. truthfully i felt bad because i knew ellis would never get to reach the end of the book, ever. he would always be repeating the first six chapters.

ellis nodded and turned his attention back to the book, "maybe i will." he stared at it with admiration for a few seconds, then he moved his gaze towards me. "i'm ellis by the way."
he reached his right hand out to me.

"fleur." i shook his hand.

"fleur," he repeated, "what a beautiful name." ellis complimented.

i was fighting back the urge to hug him, cry on his shoulder and tell him to come back.

"ellis," i repeated, "what a remarkable name."

he chuckled and shook his head with amusement. "hey fleur?"

"yes?"

"i feel like i know you but i don't." ellis stated. my heart quickened and my hopes were standing tall.

please remember me, please remember me, please remember me.

"do i?" ellis asked. just like that, everything dropped. including my stomach.

i sucked in a breath and shook my head no.

if anyone asked me why i lie about that is because i didn't want ellis to like me just because i told him who i really was. i wanted him to like me as the person i really was. and if he does remembers me in his own mind's will, then i'd be glad to take that chance.

i just hope his heart remembers me.

ellis slightly frowned but smiled again a few seconds after, "i just thought i've met you before."

no one tells ellis about his condition. not until he breaks down, becomes suspicious or when he suddenly remembers things. his parents decided to keep his life normal and unknown after they experimented putting memories of photos and notes that he would read every morning. it didn't work out, when they tried it, he would either grieve about, get angry with himself or simply accept it.

the last one rarely occurred though.

"maybe i just look like someone." i said.

ellis took a good look at me carefully and hummed. "maybe." he shrugged and returned his attention to the book. once again, he flipped through the pages. "hazel grace and augustus waters." he said to himself.

"where have i heard that before?" ellis continued, scratching his shaggy brown hair that reached his eyebrows.

"it's in the book silly." i slightly chuckled. he turned to me as his eyebrows shot up.

he had a shocked look on his face as if he discovered the best thing in the world. "really? i didn't know that."

my smile dropped. could he remember?

"really? i thought you've read at least the summary on the back?" i asked.

ellis shook his head no. "it just popped in my head." he said slowly.

i only nodded, speechless.

a few silent seconds passed by, ellis looked around the park as if he was suspicious of something while i was staring down at my shoes again.

"fleur levina." ellis said quietly. my heart was beating fast, my hands were cold, happy tears were stinging my eyes, a smile was fighting to break out my lips. he remembers my name.

"fleur levina," he repeated, looking ahead of us while i stared at him. "that's you."

i swallowed the lump in my throat as i nodded slowly. a tear had already escaped my right eye.

"fleur." ellis said shakily, turning his head slowly to look at me. his eyes that were clouded with tears, watched me carefully like i would disappear. "fleur." then he jumped towards me, tackling me in a hug.

i instantly wrapped my arms around him as he squeezed me tightly. we were both crying, sobs escaping our lips. ellis held the back of my head as he gave me kisses on the top of my head.

"i remember you, i remember you, i remember everything." ellis said shakily. "i love you fleur, i love you, i love you, i love you. i'm so sorry. i'm so so sorry. i love you." his words were rushed yet filled with emotions.

i hugged him tighter and buried my face in his shoulder. "i love you too, so so so much." my sentence was muffled. "i'm so happy that you remember me."

we held each other a little longer until we both let go. ellis held my face in his hands as he stared at my eyes. his eyes was shining with happiness and love, and so did mine.

"i'm so sorry that i'm a mess and that i can't remember you and that i'm such a wreck." he spoke quietly.

another tear left my eye as i shook my head. "i love you no matter what, okay? i'll love you always."

ellis moved his face closer, our foreheads and our noses were touching, our breaths mixing. he closed his eyes. "i'll never forget you."

a sob escaped my lips. "i wish you didn't have to forget me or anything."

"i know," he said then kissed my forehead, "i know." then he hugged me again.

"but i'll always remember you." he spoke again, his lips near my neck. "no matter how cliche this sounds, i'll always remember you, by heart."

i pulled away and pressed my lips against his. it lasted for minutes, it was something worth treasuring.

when we pulled away, our breathing was heavy as our faces were still mere inches apart.

i looked at his light brown eyes, "stay with me." he whispered.

"even if." i whispered back.

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there will be chapter three.