the oblivion

three

three.

we were bound to forget. we were bound to be forgotten. we cannot change that. however, we can change how long we will last. how long we will last in this earth and how long we will last in memories. we will all forget, no matter.

but i couldn't change how long i will last in ellis' memory. there would be days he would remember me for the whole day, for hours, for minutes, for seconds. it was indefinite.

today ellis remembered me, and i was thankful for that. the little time we had felt like an eternity for both of us. we went to his house, his parents hugged him and asked him if he was okay. ellis said he was, then he took me up at the attic where there were couches, books, movies, games and other little enjoyable things. there was a television on the side and a window that was big enough to give light on the other side.

it looked the same, his little brother gregg would still play here, but only seldom as he felt that it was ellis' and it deserved privacy. gregg was thirteen, with brown shaggy hair like his brother's and green eyes like his mom.

the old scent of wood and new bought books still lingered once i stepped foot inside the attic. it was cleaner though, no bits of crisps fallen down the rugs and no bottles left on the tables. and in all honesty, i felt sad about it.

"seems cleaner." ellis remarked, saying exactly what was on my mind.

i nodded and walked towards the shelves filled with books. there were old pictures and small notes on the top shelf, i felt weak when i saw it.

i turned back to ellis with a grin on my face, "lets watch a movie."

ellis returned the same mischievous grin.

we ended up watching the fault in our stars because ellis said that he would want to remember what made him remember of us. if that made sense. i don't know why he likes to compare our relationship from hazel and augustus', when their's was so much better.

well maybe ours was better for us, but it was different. ellis and i didn't have cancer, we didn't meet at a support group, we didn't have a beautiful montage of what our love was like. but ours was different, and i liked it better than anything.

ellis said that he would pick the fault in our stars as a movie to watch and a book to read any day. he said since he wouldn't remember anything the next day, it meant that augustus waters was still alive in his thoughts, and that he would want to watch his favorite film again and again since it would be thrown out from his memories.

we were already more than halfway throughout the film when my attention turned towards ellis. it was the part where they were in amsterdam and they were in anne frank's house. ellis looked so happy and worried and sad at the same time, he knew the ending very well.

a small closed smile was on his lips as he hugged the small pillow that was in between his right arm and chest. his left hand squeezed my right hand. a thick warm blanket covered our legs as we sat comfortably on the couch in front of the television.

i laid my chin on his shoulder as i looked up at him. ellis was too busy watching the film, which looked adorable.

"do you think i don't notice you staring?" ellis suddenly spoke a minute later.

he turned to me with a wider smile on his face. i rested the side of my face on his shoulder then shook my head.

ellis chuckled. "i could literally feel you burning holes at the side of my face." i could feel his shoulder vibrating from laughter. ellis hugged me, my face suddenly resting on his chest. his arms snaked around me as he rubbed my back, "you're so adorable."

my head snapped upwards, my chin still resting on his chest. he looked down at me, our faces were inches apart. "i'm adorable? who's the one who cries like a baby when watching the fault in our stars?"

"hey! in my opinion, the ending is very very sad, anyone would cry -anyone. and for your information, you're the one who cries like a baby at the end. remember the first time we watched it? you practically used my shirt as a tissue. you even refused to leave your seat in the theatre because you said that you still couldn't handle the feels." ellis said in an amused tone.

i sat up straight, we were now a bit further. "you wouldn't leave your seat too you know." i chuckled, "you were cuddling beside me, using my hair as a tissue. you kept squeezing the life out of me, saying; 'no augustus waters, no, don't leave hazel.' You cry more -"

then ellis kissed me suddenly. my heart stopped, but i kissed him back as soon as i processed what was happening.

ellis pulled me closer until i was sat on top of his lap. he hugged my waist as i wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands making its way in his soft messy hair.

when we pulled away, ellis held my face in his hands.

"shut up." he whispered. his face was close to mine, our noses touching.

i pecked his lips and gave him a devious smirk, "no. you still cry more than me." then i got away from his lap as fast as i could and sat at the farthest side of the couch, still laughing.

my laughter died down quickly when i turned to ellis. he was holding his head as he was looking down with a funny look on his face.

"ellis?" i said quietly. he didn't turn, he only continued to rub his head. "ellis? are you okay?" i moved closer to him.

as i inched closer to ellis, he stiffened. i attempted to put my hand on his shoulder but he jerked away and looked at me as if i was a stranger -a stranger.

"who are you?" his voice had panic. "who are you?!" he shouted this time, he shuffled away from. his breathing heavy.

all the energy i had was drained. my eyes started to sting, as i suddenly felt cold and numb. i saw it coming, but i didn't want to believe it would. but here it is, the inevitable oblivion.

"gregg! mrs. lanes! mr. lanes!" i shouted as i heard shuffling from upstairs.

ellis was still asking who was i and why was i here. he was scared and clueless as he shook at the other side of the couch.

i stood up and came closer to ellis. "it's me fluer. it's me. it's me." but he kept pushing me away.

"i don't know you! stay away from me!" he shuffled further away.

gregg, along with their parents, came running up the stairs as they headed towards me and ellis. mrs. lanes looked at me sadly, as she held my shoulders and apologized. mr. lanes and gregg were too busy calming ellis down.

"i'm sorry, i'm really sorry. you should go home and rest sweetie." she said nicely. i nodded my head, wiped the tears of my cheeks and rubbed my eyes.

"okay." then i left the scene.

but before i really left their house, i went inside ellis' bed and left a letter inside the box under his bed. a tear left my eye as i saw all the letters i had left ellis. he never saw them though, i guess he would never look under his bed. but i still left him letters whenever i'd get a chance to enter his house. i wrote him everyday, only some made it under his bed, the others sat on the desk in my room.

i won't give up on ellis, ever.

i slid the box back under his bed with a murmured 'i love you.' then i really left this time.

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sorry for the really late update. i had a bad month, filled with panic attacks and whatnot. so please bear with me for a while. also, the first draft was deleted.

there will be chapter four.