the oblivion

eight

eight.

the fact that i knew that ellis wouldn't remember this the next day or a moment later killed me inside. also, the fact that i knew that one day ellis will be brain-dead made me break into small pieces.

but i still fought for him, for some unknown reason. though only one reason stood out: i love him. it gave me all the reasons in the world and that's enough reason for me to stay forever.

"bye fleur." ellis said before i left his house.

after our 'cliche adventure', ellis and i were about to part ways when he pulled my arm back and told me that he wanted to be with me a little longer. i wanted his memory to stay a little longer.

then we talked and talked and talked about a lot of things. we listened to the songs he likes even if it was months old already.

truth is, ellis still hasn't changed at all. he was still the same wise boy who hates cocoa puffs and loves watching deep-meaning movies. ellis was still -and is- ellis.

"bye ellis." i smiled as his face tinged a slight light shade of pink.

he grabbed my arm again and stared me intensely for a few seconds, examining my eyes. his jaws clenched and unclenched as if he was thinking about something really serious.

then he softened his grip on my arm. "i really want to kiss you right now." he spoke softly, "can i?"

i nodded my head as he firstly placed his hands on my back and pulled me close. ellis inched his face forward really close -really, then stopped. he was near enough to let me hear his own breathing and his lips slightly brushed against mine. our noses touched before he grinned.

"you're so beautiful." he said then he crashed his lips on mine.

i smiled into the kiss, his own warmth radiating around me. my arms wrapped itself around his neck, my fingers playing with the tips of his hair. i will never get tired of the feeling of his skin against mine.

ellis hugged me tightly and lifted me up a little for me to reach his height. he held me like that for awhile, me being lifted up in the air, before he placed me back on my feet and squeezed me tightly for another short second. then he pulled away, his lips leaving mine.

he still held me in his arms, mine still resting his shoulders. then he grinned, his eyes focusing on mine.

he kissed me again for a short second then we both loosened our holds on each other.

"i wish everyday would be like this." he stated.

i nodded, "me too." so badly ellis, i added in my thoughts.

he grinned again, "you should go now, it's getting late."

"yeah i should." i answered.

ellis held my hand for awhile, circling his thumb on the back of my hand before letting it go. i gave him a short wave, then left.

***

sunday morning. everything was peaceful and quiet. mom was still asleep, dad was too and i was awake in the living room writing a letter.

it was very silent until there was a knock on the door. i dropped my pen, folded the paper and ran towards the door.

"ellis?" my eyebrows shot up.

ellis was looking down, his hand holding the back of his neck then he looked at me with confusion. "what? who's ellis?"

everything in me dropped. my heart almost stopped beating and my blood suddenly felt frozen.

"what are you talking about? you're ellis." i said.

he only shook his head repeatedly. "no, no. i'm not ellis! and who are you? what am i doing here?"

i rushed in front of him and tried to hold his shoulders but he pushed me away.

"what am i doing here? who are you?" ellis panicked.

"ellis it's me, fleur! you're ellis!" i said in a high voice, my voice almost breaking.

he gave me a funny look. "i don't know you, i don't know you. i'm not ellis, i'm not ellis."

ellis walked backwards until he hit the ledge on our front porch. he placed his hands on top of his head and started to mutter things like 'i'm not ellis. i don't know anything.'

i ran back inside and dialed gregg's number as fast as i could on the phone while my hands shook.

"hello? gregg?" i said hurriedly by the time i heard someone pick the phone up.

"fleur? what's wrong?" gregg answered.

my eyes had a buzzing feeling. "ellis, he's here. he can't remember anything."

"of course he can't -"

"no! he can't even remember himself!" i almost cried.

there was a short pause at the other end, then i heard gregg again. "i'll be there."

"okay." then i dropped the phone and ran back to ellis who was panicking. "ellis? ellis please remember something, anything." i said to him.

he stayed silent and kept shaking his head.

"you're ellis. i'm fleur, remember?" my voice broke at the end, a few tears rolled down.

ellis' breathing was heavy, his face still contorted.

then i held ellis' hands and he stopped moving. he stared at me, his face calming down. none of us saying anything.

"ellis please," i whispered, "please remember something." i was crying by that point, i couldn't hold it in anymore.

ellis gulped then shook his head again. he pulled his hands away from me.

gregg came running towards us, everything about the way he looked that morning was messy and rushed. gregg held ellis' shoulders as ellis struggled and said a few calming words that seemed to work on ellis.

i looked at them, gregg being a few inches shorter than ellis and i. gregg was young and i felt sad that he had to see his brother like that.

once ellis was calm but still oblivious to his memories, gregg turned to me. "sorry fleur. he remembered everything this morning, then he said that he'd come to see you. i didn't think his memory would fade that quick." he explained.

i only nodded and wiped the tears on my cheeks.

"we'll be going." gregg stated. "sorry fleur."

i gave them a small wave and a sad smile then watched them go as gregg held his brother's shoulders.