It's Gotta Be You

-4-

As nice as the idea was that this would not be yet another uncomfortable situation, here we were seated across from one another, in silence. 

We had been staring at the menus for a good fifteen minutes, occasionally making eye contact and then going back to pretending to read the menu. 

The longer it went on, the more I became sick of it. 

"What is the point of this?" I asked, no longer caring if I was being too blunt.

"What?"

"I ask, because I really don't need a reminder of how bad things ended between us. If you don't have anything to actually say, I'll leave"

"Gracie, please just relax" he said, setting the menu down "I just don't know how to even go about this"

"Oh"

"I think it's clear that I owe you a major apology, but it's hard"

It's true, he did owe me an apology, but part of me wasn't ready to face what he had to say about everything we went through. 

"To say I was an idiot for cheating would be such an understatement, but then I acted like nothing happened the next day"

"Why?"

"You won't like the answer, but I honestly don't know"

His response made me mad "You don't know why you did it?" 

"No" 

"Liam, I sat through a year of listening to Anna go on and on about what she did with you; she really enjoyed reminding me of it too and telling me that I was the one who screwed up with you" I took a deep breath "I beat my brains wondering what it was that I could have possibly done to make it seem like I wasn't ever good enough for you"

"Gracie, I'm sorry; I didn't want that"

I looked down, wondering how long I had been holding in all my emotions on this issue. 

"You have no idea how much it hurt me, Liam"

"I know"

"No, Liam, you don't know anything. You went off and made your dreams come true, having friends by your side. I had only one person, but he moved halfway through the year. Everyone else treated me like I was this never-ending joke" I looked down, unable to look at him anymore "You were the famous Liam Payne, and I was simply known as the girl he did a favor for by acknowledging my existence" 

"Look, it wasn't easy for me either. It's not like I was ever really popular until I was part of One Direction"

I scoffed "That's not the point"

"I know" 

"I just wish I never screwed things up between us; it was the biggest mistake of my life" he said, catching me off guard. 

"What?"

"It's true, I regret everything I did when hurting you"

I shifted in my seat "I think I should leave"

"No, I spent all this time running away from an issue; it's not your turn"

"No, I can't do this" I said, gathering my things and rushing out of the restaurant as fast as I could, unable to deal with any of this. 

As I exited the restaurant, I was quickly pulled back by Liam. 

"Gracie, please" he pleaded. 

I turned away, refusing to let him see me this emotional "No, it's not fair! I can't just forgive you like this and act like everything is okay, when we both know it's far from it"