It's Gotta Be You

-34-

It was eight in the morning and we were off to the set where I'd be filming my music video. Everyone was tagging along, despite the fact that I didn't really want them there. 

Well not all of them, just Liam mostly.

I finally gave in to what my heart so desperately wanted, only to get it shattered once again. I had dark circles under my eyes, because I had stayed up all night pouring all my emotions into music.

That's the only way I knew how to process these emotions and a pile of tissues still remained on my bed. 

My nose was so congested, so I knew today would be hard on me. I grabbed my bag and songbook, with some pens, along with my earbuds to drown out everything. 

I wasn't just emotional, I was so unbelievably angry. Not just at Liam, but at the world. 

Everyone was waiting outside and I took one look at Liam, knowing that I couldn't sit in the SUV with them, so I got into the one in front. 

It should come as no surprise that someone would join me and I was at least glad that it was Louis and not someone else. 

"Hey" he said, closing his door.

I looked out the window, seeing everyone else still outside.

"Don't worry, it's just us in here"

The car started driving away and I rested my head back.

"Wanna explain the dark appearance?" he asked

I groaned "I wear black all the time, so why is it suddenly an issue now?" I looked down at my shirt "And Suicide Silence is just a band, okay?"

"No, babe, I was talking about the red puffy eyes and the obvious stuffy nose"

"I'm just done" I looked at the driver "Can we stop at a gas station?"

We pulled into a Circle K, and Louis followed me inside while I grabbed some Gatorade and a SmartWater.

"Can you at least tell me if you're okay?"

I paid for my things and looked at Louis "No, I'm not okay"

We walked back out to the SUV and I started drinking my water.

"You didn't come out of your room last night, and I know you were awake" he paused "I could hear you crying"

"I know that you know more about the situation than you're letting on, so get on with it"

He sighed "Liam talked to Zayn and I last night; I'm assuming after you two had your own discussion"

"I finally gave in to my feelings for Liam, only to be turned down in the worst way"

"He seemed to regret it, if that helps"

I gave him a look "It really doesn't" I put my earbuds in and took a deep breath "Lou, I love you like crazy, but I really don't want to talk right now"

I didn't give him much of a chance to react before I started blasting music in my ears, taking in the sounds of Marianas Trench to disappear for a moment.

---

We arrived at the set and the director explained to me what would be happening in the music video. 

The set was built up like a kitchen and sitting area, and basically during the first half, I'd be singing in the kitchen, but once the chorus rolled around it would act as a stage with a vintage microphone.