In the feels

March 17, 2018

I hate today.
I hate tomorrow.
I hate next week.
I just hate next month.
I even hate next year.
Nothing I do is making me happy anymore.
I tried drawing again.
I think I should stop doing it tho.
I'm writing a book.
I'll probably give up on it.
I wrote a song on my ukulele.
I'm never gonna share it.
I just hate where I'm at right now.
I hate being homeschooled.
That's probably never gonna change.
"It's more of a challenge for you"
"It's a more flexible schedule"
I don't give a fuck.
Can't my parents see how miserable I am?
Even after they have promised
To put me back into public school.
I was told that they don't want me to go back.
"There's been so many shootings"
"It'll be too easy for you"
"The system is messed up"
I DONT GIVE A FUCK!
I miss my friends.
I miss classrooms.
I miss homework.
I miss lunchtime.
I miss walking in between classes.
I miss every aspect of it.
I miss how happy I was back then.
I miss how much fun it was.
I miss my old life.
I miss the old me.
But they don't see that.
So I swear to god,
If they don't let me switch back and leave just another empty promise dangling in my face,
I will purposely stop trying at gymnastics.
I will purposely stop trying to get good grades.
I will purposely stop doing any online school work.
I will purposely fail.
Cuz I'm sick of them controlling my life.
I'm sick of them telling me what to do.
I'm sick of it.
I'm taking my own life back.
And no ones gonna stop me.
Just watch.