In the feels

May 20, 2018

So I'm scared to write this.
Like completely terrified
Cuz it's making my anxiety shoot through the roof
But I already brought it up to you yesterday
And I'd been wanting to write this chapter for a while
So here it goes.
I like you.
A lot.
I know I told you that yesterday
But I just wanted me to explain it better.

I've liked you since about Late February.
I was in the middle of liking someone else
at that time
but then you came along
and I was so confused on my feelings
That I wasn't sure who I liked anymore
Or if I was just convincing myself I liked you
To get over the other person.

So I pushed it to the back of my mind.
You're my best friend
I didn't want anything awkward between us.
And I most definitely didn't want to lose you.
I still don't want any of that.
But then once I got over the other person,
My feelings for you popped back up
And they grew
A lot.
Gosh I'm crushing so hard on you now.
I wish I wasn't but I am.

And I know this might sound weird cuz like I said we're best friends.
And that's all you'll ever view me as.
And I'm okay with that.
I have to be okay with that.

I'm not writing this to make you feel bad.
You have nothing to feel bad about.
I had been scared beyond belief to tell you this because I was scared you'd start treating me differently or something
and the awesome bond we have would be lost.

I just wanna know your thoughts and stuff
I want to kinda talk about this cuz it's making my anxiety shoot through the roof.
And idk.
I'm sorry Damien...