What About You? Well, What About Me?

Chapter 1 - My Angel

{Dean's POV}

I love Castiel. There, I said it. I love an angel. Even though angels are dicks, I love one. I love his eyes, how blue they are, and how intense it is when we stare at each other. I love how confused he gets when I make pop culture references. I love how he is so passionate about everything he does.

But here I am, walking out of the door of our home again, heading toward the bar. We fought again. It happens almost daily. And here I am again, going to the bar, leaving the love of my life crying in the bedroom we share. But I can't help it. I can hear the alcohol calling me, drawing me in. "Oh, you've fought with Cas again, come, drink, it will help." But drinking doesn't help. It's the root of every fight Cas and I have.

I look in the rear view mirror of my black '67 Chevy Impala, my baby, and I see Cas standing in the doorway, calling after me. I press my foot down on the gas more as his brother, Lucifer appears behind him. And then Lucifer disappears. And that's never a good thing. I sigh and turn my attention back to the road.

I walk into the bar and sit down. I order a whiskey and look around, seeing who's who. Seeing who's here. Suddenly, the Devil appears in front of me. Literally. Lucifer, for some reason looks calm, and that's unusual. Normally he gets angered by our fights and tends to yell at me before I leave for the bar. He looks me up and down and then lets out a sigh, "Hey Dean." I roll my eyes and take a sip of my drink.

"Sup." I reply. Lucifer gives me an odd look.

"Can I be honest with you? Now that we're alone?" I let out a chuckle as I set my drink down and turn to face the Devil.

"Sure." He gives me a smirk.

"Good." Then, without warning he punches me in the face. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He screams. "MY BROTHER LOVES YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM? BY GETTING YOUR ASS DRUNK?" I don't say anything. Hell, I don't even try to defend myself. I just stare at him. He punches me several times again, throwing me against a wall and pinning me to it. "HE GAVE EVERYTHING FOR YOU! HE REBELLED FOR YOU! HE FELL FROM HEAVEN, JUST FOR YOU, DEAN!" He pauses. Waiting for me to answer or at least say anything. And I do.

"I'm not good enough! I never have been!" My response seemed to have angered him more. He throws me again. He then grabs me by the collar of my shirt and locks gazes with me.

"You might not be good enough for you. But Cas loves you and considers you good enough!" I feel a knot in my throat but that doesnt stop me.

"I'm not good enough... and you know it." He punches me again. He then leaves me on the floor. I look up at him, his face showing nothing but rage. "Right. I forgot. Dean Winchester. A high school drop out with six bucks to his name... what was I thinking?" He punches me again until my vision darkens and winks out.

I wake up several minutes later and everyone in the bar has crowded around me. I get up and ignore the chorus of voices asking if I am ok. Of course I'm not ok. I'm drunk, and my fiancee's brother just beat the shit out of me. I'm in a bar, and the love of my life is sitting in our home crying because of the stupid shit I do. I walk outside and get in Baby, my Impala.

As I begin the drive back home, back to my life, I get an odd sense of foreboding. I usually rely on my instincts, so I am cautious. Suddenly, I see a large semi truck heading toward me. The last thing I hear is the squealing of tires on pavement and the crashing of broken glass. The last thing I think? How is my little angel going to go on without me there to guide him?