What About You? Well, What About Me?

Chapter 6 - Broken Faith, Broken Brother

{Lucifer}

As I stare out to the lake I begin to see how clear things were. For the first time, I began to see my Father's plan. And I believe I'm starting to understand it.

"Luci?"

I turn to see my brother, Castiel, standing beside me. I give him a soft smile and look back to the lake. "Hey Cas...". He then sits beside me and looks at the lake, "What are you thinking, Luci? "

"I was just... thinking about Dad's plan."

Cas then gives me an odd look, I would have too. Actually I have never taken the time to actually think about it. "I believe I understand him now..."

"What?"

"He wanted us to love humanity... not more than him but more than ourselves...maybe Michael was right... maybe Dad did leave because of me."

Castiel looked at me, "It wasn't your fault. Dad never loved us!"

"Cas..."

"No. Lucifer, Dad never cared about us! When he created humans... it was his way of shoving it in our faces... that's why he told us to love them more than him. Because he doesn't love us! We were created imperfectly. He hates us. All of us. It's why he made those stinking mud monkeys. Because he never loved us. He abandoned us."

Hearing his words penetrating my ears made my blood boil. I didn't want to believe him.... but something inside me was telling me he was right. I knew he was right. But I refused to believe it. I wanted to believe in Dad again.

"No, Cas. Dad..." I then stop as I feel my words become a knot in my throat. He was right... I knew he was... it pained me.

Castiel stood up, "You know its true!"

I rose, "I KNOW CAS... I KNOW!"

"Then act like it!"

Having said that, he turned around and began to walk off. I felt my anger rise and my blood boil. Dad never loved us. I knew it. I didn't want to believe it. But it was true

I then feel how the wind begins to blow. I feel my anger emerge from my body. "Those pathetic mid monkeys..."

Cas turns around with a horrified expression on his face, "Luci?"

"Its all their fault..."

I felt Cas' hand on my shoulder, "Calm down, brother."

"Calm down? I can't... father left. Not because of me... but because of these murderous, pathetic mud monkeys... I. Will. Make. Them. PAY!"

{Cas}

I walk away from my much older brother feeling my heart shatter. I had been holding on to my faith in my Father by a string. But I couldn't hold on to it anymore. And I exploded on Luci. Just as he was getting his faith back. I fucked up. Like usual. Suddenly, I hear him behind me. "Those pathetic mud monkeys..." Shit. He's going to do something bad.

"Calm down. Please." I say, touching his shoulder lightly.

"Calm down? I CAN'T CALM DOWN. FATHER LEFT, NOT BECAUSE OF ME, BUT BECAUSE OF THESE IDIOTIC MUD MONKEYS. I AM GOING TO MAKE THEM PAY!"  He explodes. Damn it. I need to stop him from doing this.

"Luci, they're not worth it." The only way I know how. "It's just not worth it." He sighs and I can practically watch his anger disappate as Sam walks outside by us. He gives me a hard look as we all walk back into the house.