It's Ashton Not Ashley

3.

~Present time, one month later~ (Possible Trigger Warning and multiple use of the "F" Word)

I would be lying if I said a lot happened in the last month, but if I'm being honest, nothing happened. Well, nothing but the fact that Luke and I have become friends and things were going great, minus the fact I wasn't out yet which I didn't think mattered.

The only thing that bothered me was as soon as Luke and I started to become close, he would act strange. We were so close to actually kissing last weekend and then he blew me off.

We were playing tag and I hid behind a tree to prevent from getting tagged. Luke came up and scared me, and he was right there, staring at me in the face. He was two inches away, so I leaned in. I knew Luke did too, but he quickly pulled away and frowned.

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing," I stammered, quietly.

"No, you weren't doing nothing. You were going to kiss me, weren't you?" Luke asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not a faggot like you are," Luke told me and ran off and I went home with tears in my eyes. That was the day I relapsed and I will tell that it was great doing so. I forgot about how good it was to feel the cool blade against my wrist. I haven't felt it in over a month and I was really dreading to see Luke at school after that, but it wasn't actually that bad.

"Hey, Ashton?"

"Hm?" I looked at Luke.

"Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned.

I nodded slowly. "I'm okay," I said. Luke looked at me and licked his top lip. "Are you sure?"

I nodded once again. "I'm sure, why do you ask?"

Luke paused and sighed for a moment. "yesterday when we were hanging at your house, I went to the bathroom and I saw..." he trailed off and dug around his bag.

"...this," Luke finished his sentence with a razor blade in the palm of his hand. It had dried blood on its edges. "What's that?" I asked, but I knew exactly what it was. It was the blade I used to cut myself with. Luke's eyes were watery and he was clearly tearing up. "I think you know what it is." I shook my head and I felt the lump building up in the back of my throat, telling me I was about to cry. "I don't."

"Ashton," Luke gripped my arm and I winced. "What is this from?" He asked in a more stern tone.

"It's nothing, Luke," I sighed quietly. "I-It's nothing," I teared up.

"Really? It looks like a fucking razor blade!" Luke shouted at me. We were at the park and people were starting to stare. "Luke, lower your voice!" I said.

"Ashton, give me your arms. Now," he sounded really harsh, almost scary.
I pulled my arms away and pulled at my sleeves.

"Look, if you know I do it, why even try to see my arms?" I asked, lip quivering.

He ignored my question and rolled up my sleeves revealing my cut up wrists, my deep cuts on my arms.

Luke frowned slightly and held my hands. "Why?" He asked. "No one likes a faggot," I said and Luke grimaced at the word. "Stop saying that word." Luke looked at me and wiped away his tears. "I don't like you calling yourself that, why do you think you're a fag," he whispered.

"I am one. That's why. I'm bisexual, isn't that what a fag is?"

Luke shook his head and brought me into a hug. "Look at me."

I looked down at my feet. "Not at your feet, Ashton. Look. At. Me." Luke grabbed my head and tilted it up so I was forced to make eye contact with him. "That's not what that is," he pulled me close and wipes away my tears since I was crying. "But you called me that," I pleaded silently.

Luke nodded slightly. "I'm sorry for calling you a fag. I was just upset about you trying to kiss me."

"Kiss you? Why would I kiss you?"

"I don't know. I'm ugly, why would you?" Luke put his hands in his jacket pocket.

"You're not ugly," I started, but Luke changed the subject.

"Look, there's nothing wrong with liking boys and girls, okay? No matter what everyone says, it's not wrong," Luke said and hesitantly kissed my cheek. "I support you and that's all that matters, right?" he asked and I looked at him and nodded. "God, I'm such a baby," I said and Luke just chuckled. "You're not a baby because you're a man, you're a man because you're a baby," he said and looked at me with a goofy grin causing me to laugh.

"You're such a dork, Luke!" I squealed as he picked me up and held me upside. "What am I?" he asked.

I smirked, "a meanie."

He took off my beanie and put it on his head. "No, give it back!"

"I'm sorry, I thought I was a meanie."

"You are!" I screeched.

"Meanies don't give back the things they take."

"Lucas, pleaaase!"

"Ashton, pleaaase," Luke said mocking me and I giggled. He looked at me and placed the beanie back on my head after putting me back on my feet. "Aw man! You ruined my hair!" I fixed my hair before putting the beanie back on correctly. "What can I say? I'm a meanie," he smiled.

"I hate you!"

"Aw, you love me Ashton." Honestly, if he had any idea what he said was true, he probably wouldn't have said that. But it's true. I was slowly falling in love with the blond boy that I only knew for a month. I hate to say it, but I was falling fast and hard.

"Ashton?"

"Yes?" I snapped my head out of my thoughts only to see Luke staring at me. "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say..." he smirked at me, leaving me confused.

"...you're it," he came up behind me and tagged me. I screamed and ran after him for the rest of that day. I ended up climbing up a tree to tag him. Luke jumped out of the tree and I slowly climbed down after him and kept chasing him, laughing. For once, I can say that I was actually happy, something that I haven't felt in a while. I won't lie, it felt amazing too.

Here's chapter 3. It's short and shitty, but it'll do. I thought it was cute and I hope you guys did too.

I also wanted to say that I might not update the days I said I will because four days of updating is way too much and I have a lot going on. Anyways, I think I'll be updating on Fridays for now on.

Vote and comment.

I love you guys.

Word count: 1,166