It's Ashton Not Ashley

19.

I sighed. "I can't take this," I said and gave him the binder back. "Go get your money back. I can't take it."

"Why not?" Luke asked pushing it back into my hands.

"I know you only bought this because you're trying to win me back. That won't happen because I can't forgive you," I said, handing Luke the binder once again. "Keep it."

"Why?"

I sighed. Luke wasn't ever going to give up.

"You had a problem with my identity," I said slowly, the words fumbled out of my mouth like vomit."You had a problem with keeping one simple thing to yourself, and you couldn't even do that. That's not okay," I replied looking down at my feet.

He sighed looking at Calum and then at me. "I thought it would've worked. But I'm putting it outside on the doorstep in case you change your mind about this whole thing."

He looked at me one last time and licked his lips a little. I was sure he was going to kiss me. I missed the way his lips felt on mine, even if I didn't want the kiss.

Instead he turned toward the door. "I'll see you both later," he said and walked outside, closing the door behind him. I heard some muffled footsteps, knowing that he had placed the binder outside.

I waited a minute to make sure he left before looking at Calum and tearing up. Calum opened his arms up and hugged me tightly. Being in Calum's arms made me feel better, made me feel like I was worthy of keeping someone. Calum would never leave me, he would never hurt me. Calum would always make sure I'm safe before going anywhere and I loved that about him.

I looked at him and wiped my eyes. He looked back at me and smiled.

"Ashton, I really think you deserve better than Luke. He's hurting you and you're allowing him to walk all over you," he sat me down on the couch. "I think you should just forget about him. I mean, I didn't think I was gay until I met Michael and he changed my life. I left my abusive ex girlfriend because Michael made me realize that she was toxic. Maybe you just need a little love in your life," Calum said and sat me on his lap.

I nodded. "I can't help it though. I-I love him," I said and tears started rolling down my face again.

"Love hurts," Calum said with a frown, holding me close. "It hurts bad," I said and started to cry.

Calum nodded. "Yes. Love does hurt, but that's why you need to find someone who loves you as well. You'll go through a million guys or even girls and you'll go through bad heartbreaks before you find the one. But I don't want you to give up."

"I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of looking for love," I said and whimpered through my tears.

"Maybe you don't need to keep looking," Calum whispered slowly, running his fingers through my hair. "Maybe who you're looking for has been right here the whole time."

"How? Luke left me. He hates me."
"I never said it was Luke, Ashton. Maybe it's someone who's been there for you through everything," he tilted my face up and leaned in so that I could feel his hot breath on my face.
"M-Maybe it's me," he said slowly, calmly. My stomach tingled and I started to calm down.

Calum always manages to make me feel better and I don't know how he does it. But I didn't mind it. I loved the feeling of being loved.

Calum leaned in closer to my face and kissed me deeply. I was taken back in surprise, but I closed the gap between us, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He pulled away and looked at me. "Wow, you left me breathless," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. "I-I think I love you," Calum replied as he started kissing my neck, all the way down to my stomach. I left out a soft, breathy moan and looked at him.

"You don't love me. It's in your head," I said back, looking at his brown eyes, realizing how beautiful they actually are.

He licked his lips slowly making sure they were wet. "Let me show you."

"What?"

"Let me show you that I love you," he kissed me again, but this time I pulled away. "I can't love you like that, Calum. As much as I would love to, as much as I wish it was you who I loved, it's not. Plus we can't do that to Michael. You just told me that he helped you break free from a bad relationship. It's Michael you love, not me."

Calum frowned at me. "But we used to love each other."

I shook my head. "No, you used to love me. But I can tell you right now that you belong with Michael. I know that for a fact."

I kissed him once more softly. "If you and Michael don't work out and Luke and I aren't a thing by the time we are thirty five, I'll consider marrying you okay?"

He nodded slowly and cuddled into me. "Until then, we can be best friends."

I nodded. "Yeah, forever and always," I smiled and kissed his cheek as I watched him drift off to sleep.

I got up and looked at Calum and smiled. I slowly crept over to the front door and opened it, a gush of wind and rain coming in. I grabbed the binder which was wrapped up, safe from the rain. I held it close to my chest and shut the door behind me, smiling.

I went upstairs, the binder still in my arms. I took my shirt off and watched as the ace bandage unraveled.

Chapter 19! What did you think of the Cashton I added? Personally, I thought this was one of my better chapters even though it was a bit a shorter than it would usually be. I love you all.

Word count: 1,032