It's Ashton Not Ashley

14.

*Small Trigger Warning*

"What do you mean that she's your girlfriend?" I asked Luke. We were video chatting over Skype because he felt the need to tell me himself that they were a thing. This was the only time he has talked to me in the last three months.

"I mean, she's my girlfriend. The encounter you had in the bathroom with her three months ago was when I made it official. I think she might actually be the one Ashton. I'm falling fast and hard."

"T-That's great for you," I said quietly and forced a smile on my face.

"What's wrong? You don't seem happy for me."

"I am," I said and looked down at my fingers, playing with them. "I really am. It's just that you're with Tara and I miss Calum," I explained. "He's been hanging out with Michael more and more. I have no idea why. It's not like I have you either. You're taken. It's not that easy to get over someone you had feelings for Luke."

"I need to go. Tara is coming over," Luke said and I nodded slowly in an understanding way.

"Bye." I sat there for a moment as Tara walked into Luke's room. He pulled her onto his lap and immediately started to make out with her.

My eyes watered and I quickly hung up the call. I can't believe the way everything was falling apart. I just wanted Luke back. I wanted everything back to normal. I wanted my mom alive and my dad happy again and I most of all just wished everyone didn't hate me.

----
I called Calum with tears forming in my eyes and I took a deep breath hoping he would answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey," I said quietly. "Where are you?"

"I'm at home with Michael, why?"

"I-I need someone right now."

"Are you alright Ash?"

I shook my head. "I hate myself for making everyone hate me. You, Luke, my dad."

"I don't hate you Ashton. I thought you hated me because the last time we talked I called you a fag and slapped you. I'm sorry," Calum said with his voice cracking.

"I can never be mad at you."

"So you're okay then?"

"I'm not okay," I said and I started to cry. "I need you. Please Calum," I said as tears kept rolling down my face.

Calum sighed as he hung up.

"Calum?" I asked into the phone. "C-Cal?"

I threw my phone against the wall and watched as it shattered again. I have bad anger issues everytime Luke makes me mad and he's the reason why I throw my phone around, treating it like some toy.

My breath was getting heavy as I traced my fingertips gently over my scars. The urge was coming back and I quickly took my hand off my scars. Everytime I looked at the scars, felt the scars, I felt that it was necessary to cut. But since cutting has become a regular thing for me, I was used to the painful urges that itched at my wrist.

----

"Ashton? Where are you?" Calum's quiet voice spoke out from the room.

"Come out, please," another voice said and I recognized that as Michael. His voice was softer than Calum's and sounded less harsh.

"I think he's in the bathroom!" Michael said and pressed his ear against the door. "I hear sobbing."