It's Ashton Not Ashley

10.

*use of f word and mention of self harm*

~Luke's POV, a month later~

"Ashton is transgender," Michael said and reached for the bag of chips. We were playing truth or truth and it was when we had to spill secrets we knew about other people which is what started this whole conversation.

I frowned to  myself. "Mikey, there's no way. Don't make up lies."

"I mean think about it, Luke. You told me you walked in on Ashton dancing in an ace bandage that was around his chest." He took a chip from the bag and munched down on it.

My breath got heavy at the thought that Ashton could actually be fooling me. That he has been the whole time. 

"Talk to him tomorrow at school," Michael said as he got up and gathered his things. "I have to go anyways," he said as I watched him leave my room.

"Night," I mumbled as I fell asleep thinking about Ashton.

----

I woke up, my heart pounding in my chest to a dream I had of Ashton and I. We were making out and I took off his shirt to reveal he had boobs. I fell off my bed as I started to think about it again. This is why I'm gay. Having to think about naked women scared me. 

I got up off my floor and got dressed. I walked out my room, swinging my bag over my shoulder. 

"Morning mom," I said as I kissed her cheek. She was asleep on the couch, buried in blankets and her face buried in pillows, breathing in the smokey smell that lingered on them. A lot has happened to my mom and I over the last year. Since November last year, my dad left her for some twenty-year-old. After that, my mom could barely hold a job and soon, the little money she did make was taken from her. 

I looked in the refrigerator and sighed when I saw that we didn't have food. I worked a few days after school and early in the mornings on weekends at a grocery store. It wasn't enough money, but it was plenty to be able to pay bills. It was enough to get a discount for groceries. 

"I'll see you after work," I said to her and I walked to school. 

----

I quickly approached Ashton as the bell to end the school day rang. 

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he replied.

I chuckled to myself. "Is it hi or hey?" 

Ashton shrugged and rubbed his arms self consciously. His jacket sleeves were pulled down below his wrists and I wondered if he was still slicing himself. "What?" His face showed confusion and and a mix of tiredness as well. 

"I needed to ask you a question, but I wanted to lighten the mood first."

Ashton nodded and looked at me. His glossy eyes showed hurt like he knew what I was going to ask him. "I've heard things around," I started and I grabbed his hands and held them tightly. "I wanted to make sure they weren't true," I said and I looked around the hallway to make sure no one was there to see me hold hands with Ashton. "Don't hate me for asking, but are you transgender?"

He looked at me and started panicking. "No! T-That's stupid!"

"I'm not a stupid transgender," he said, his eyes tearing up as he backed himself into the locker, his small frame starting to shake underneath his oversized jacket. 

"You're freaking out like I found out some secret." I looked at him in the eyes. "You're a trannie and frankly, it's disgusting. You're never going to be a boy, you faggot! You're always going to be a girl!"

Tears were falling down Ashton's face. He looked at me, his eyes showing a sense of hurt and shock. "D-Don't leave me. Please don't leave!" He started to sob. 

"You hurt me dammit. You attached yourself to me and hurt me."

"I-I'm s-sorry. I never meant to hurt you," he said quietly in between sobs.

 I turned around to leave, but I turned and kicked him hard into the locker. I watched as he fell to the floor, gasping and holding his stomach in pain. "You're such a baby!" I shouted. I'm glad no one was there in the hallway and that they were all outside or heading home. I kicked him again, harder in the stomach and I heard him wince. 

I didn't turn back when he cried for help and I didn't turn back when he sobbed into his hands. I didn't turn back even though I should have. I knew I hurt him, but he hurt me a hell of a lot more. 

----

I got home from work a little after ten that night. Mom was already asleep on the couch, passed out and drunk. She had tear stains on her face indicating that she was crying earlier, probably from thinking she's a fuck-up. I sighed as I kissed her cheek and covered her in a blanket. "I love you mama," I said and I went to my room. I was starving, but I didn't care. I was too tired to eat.

I logged into my laptop as I threw my shoes against my door. I went on our school website and wrote a long blog about how Ashton hurt me numerous times and his secret may have slipped out.

A.I. is not who you think S(H)E is. I was once good friends with her, but as I got closer to her, I realized she was a toxic waste to my life. Not only did she lie to her friend, but she lied to me and my best friend. She lied to everyone about who she really was. I found out recently that Ashley Irwin is a dyke. She wants to be a boy. She wears an ace bandage around her chest, wears boxers. I'm sorry to do this to her, but everyone needs to know the truth!

That is all for this chapter!

How has everyone been? I've been stressing out because finals start tomorrow (by the time I update this, it will have passed).

Also, I get out of school June 8 and then I go to see Harry on June 14. I'm very excited!

Anyways, what did you think of this chapter? Luke revealing Ashton's secret?

Vote and comment.

Word count: 1,080