(Roman's POV)
Song: Say Amen - Panic! At The Disco
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Dear Roman,
It's been a while since I've actually written something on paper. It feels good; relaxing even. I should've written more often -- a story maybe -- that might have made life easier. A way to vent my feelings without keeping them bottled up and festering.
You know, I've always loved writing. Once upon a time, I thought I was going to do it when I grew up. That was before I realized we didn't have jobs, anyway. So let me tell you a story... my story.
Cold. So cold. My mind never stops, never gives up. The darkness and light both beckon me, trapping me at a sort of cross-road. Cold. So cold. I don't know what path I wanted to take, but I knew I had to take one. So here I am. My name doesn't matter now, all that matters is the darkness. I can feel it pushing me, pulling at my every being. Like a spider weaving a web, I can feel the darkness climbing higher, traveling past my skin and erasing all that I once was. I can still feel the light, caressing me in its presence. But I know that it soon will be gone. So I jump. As above, so below. Above, I was drowning. Drowning in the inescapable waves of confusion and grief that always seemed to follow me. So, it only seems fitting that I drown physically too. Cold, so cold.
I assume that this is the end of my story, however, I know this message will be lost in translation. I don't mean for you to feel sad for me. It's better this way.
I love you,
Virgil.
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Roman's POV
My hands shook as I read, each word twisting in my gut like a dagger to a heart. My eyes sought Loneliness's, searching for the consolation he'd offer. We stood there for minutes, both lost in our own thoughts. What did the message mean? This couldn't just be it... he couldn't have just given up, right? There was no way - I wouldn't accept it. He deserves to live. I need him to live. My eyes squeezed tight as I fought to contain the dread pricking my skin like needles, trying to fight the current of grief that was so close to spilling.
"We could search his room," Loneliness muttered in a hollow voice, "maybe he left something else. He must have.." I nodded, and simultaneously we turned, walking to the place we last saw him. I opened the door to the room and my stomach turned to ice. It was like he was there. His smell, his beddings, decore; it all screamed 'Virgil.' Yet he was nowhere in sight. I stared at his bed with a grim and shuddering fascination, a part of me thinking about how it might never be used again. I picked up his phone from the floor, turning it over in my hand methodically, watching as Loneliness walked into the bathroom, probably to look for any signs Virgil may have left. I played his songs, still paused on the lockscreen, and smiled as I heard the music wash over me. It was a new Panic! song, Say Amen, one that Virgil will never get to fully appreciate.
I walked over to his balcony, looking out onto the calming ocean it overlooked. When we were growing up, I always thought it was unfair that he got the balcony overlooking the ocean, after all, he'd never done anything that deserved such a reward, yet, Logan always told me that he needed it more. Apparently, it calmed him down. Although neither of them would like to admit it, Logan and Virgil were very similar. They would have been great friends if they had gotten to know each other.
I signed as I looked down, soaking up the view of the humming, distorted waves below. There was something about the ocean that had always captivated me; it was so powerful - it demanded full respect. Beyond the beauty was something more, an unspoken danger. It could take the lives of any man foolish enough to succumb to it. My mind was running, overwhelmed by all that had happened. Virgil's message ran through the back of my mind as a looked at the view. I was subconsciously trying to solve it, hoping that beyond the words was a message; hoping for... hope.
"Above, I was drowning. Drowning in the inescapable waves of confusion and grief that always seemed to follow me. So, it only seems fitting that I drown physically too..."
And then it clicked.
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A/N
Hello if you're reading this, I appreciate it so so much! ❤ And if anyone has any ideas for Loneliness's name, can you let me know? Thank you all so much! ❤💜💕💙💕💜❤
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Unstable || Prinxiety
Fanfic#1 Thomas Sanders || 8:2:18 Virgil never sleeps. He never eats, never drinks. All he does is work from the comfort of his room, never talking to anyone; never going outside. Without realizing it, he has become famous to all the other sides - "The D...
