The love between a king and his serving boy (merthur)

Chapter 1

Merlin's POV

Arthur does nothing now, he just lays on his bed all day every day. Ever since that day. The day I carried him for miles and saved him from Mordred's fatal sword and killed Morgana and restored peace into Camelot.

But none of that matters anymore. At the time Arthur told me that he was sorry, he finally recognised my powers and that I use them for good, but he doesn't care anymore, and that just breaks my heart.

There is a reason for his mood change though. On that day, that terrible day, we found Percival wondering aimlessly around the forest, he was crying hysterically and told us of Gwaine's death. Percival and Gwaine were very close, sometimes I suspect that they were closer than just friends, but anyhow, the fact that Gwaine was gone simply crushed Percival and lost Arthur a good friend and Camelot a brilliant knight.

Something even worse happened though. Gwen simply couldn't face being the queen and feared Arthur's death. She had killed herself hours before we returned to Camelot. Now Arthur won't do anything and he won't acknowledge my efforts of helping him.

But I have my own problems. I am hopelessly in love with the king and I can do nothing about it. Seeing him sad shatters my heart into tiny pieces, and I don't know if it can ever be repaired.

Arthur's POV

I don't care anymore. Gwen has broken me. She has torn me apart and caused so much mental pain that it seems physical. And Gwaine- one of my best friends. I just can't accept that they are dead. But I also feel slight anger towards Gwen. She was the queen and her duty was to care for her kingdom, she failed. I am in more pain than she ever was in, yet I still rule Camelot. Not very well I admit, but I am still managing. I just wish she had waited a little while and not let her selfishness get in the way.

I hate myself even more for thinking this about my dead wife, but I did think that she would be a bit braver. Like Merlin, he is honestly braver than any man I know and I wish I could tell him.

I also wish I wasn't such a lazy prat that I could get out of bed and make magic allowed so Merlin doesn't have to hide anymore. It pains me that he has to hide his real self. He deserves to be known and respected for who he is- a sorcerer. I was scared at first when he told me, and I would have prefered it if he hadn't lied to me for all these years, but I understand why he kept it a secret and if I wasn't such a mess, I would probably find his powers more interesting and special. But right now, I just don't care about anything. I have lost everything, and now I am becoming weaker and slowly letting my kingdom fall.

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A/n- this probably won't get read by anyone at all and it's not that good, but if people comment and read it and stuff, then I'll probably make a chapter 2 :)