I Don't Do Sadness // Jyrus

moody

"So, you've got your eyes on anyone?" TJ asked.

The two boys sat in their usual positions on the swings. Cyrus was digging his foot in the wood chips underneath him while TJ continued to soar high above him. Cyrus shrugged.

TJ slowed his swing down to be on the same motionless level as Cyrus. "Seriously," he said. "There's got to be some guy that you like."

Cyrus still shrugged, refusing to admit his lust towards Jonah Beck. He quickly glanced up to TJ to find him staring at him, awaiting an answer. He gave in. "Okay, there is one guy," he sighed.

Cyrus' face lit up at the thought of Jonah and it was a relief to talk about him. Andi didn't want any mention of him, for it was still a "sore subject." And Buffy was just annoyed at this point.

"Who?" TJ asked.

"I can't tell you," Cyrus laughed.

TJ was relived to finally see Cyrus' smiled once again. It seemed to have been so long since he saw his brilliant white teeth shining behind his curled up lips. They seemed to have been having these little visits more frequently and every time Cyrus would sit on his swing just digging his shoes into the ground. The very shoes that two months ago he would have complained about someone stepping on.

"Well, describe him to me," TJ said with a smile.

"Okay. Well, he's nice and he does sports and stuff." Cyrus described, blushing.

TJ laughed again. "Yeah?" Cyrus bashfully nodded. "What else?" TJ pried.

"I can't tell you!" Cyrus really wanted to tell him, though. He really wanted to be able to talk about Jonah with him. But, he also wasn't ready to tell anyone else about his crush, he had to keep it a secret. TJ knew he was gay. Cyrus was sure everyone knew. Of course, he had only really told Andi, Buffy, and TJ.

TJ broke the silence of Cyrus deciding whether or not to tell him. He said, "What grade is he in?"

Cyrus giggled at the question. "8th."

"Oh, an older boy!" TJ teased, pushing Cyrus' swing to the side. Cyrus let out a laugh, the first one TJ had heard in a while. Buffy was approaching the swing set, trying to find Cyrus, and was surprised to hear the joy from him.

"Oh, look who's so happy all of a sudden," she said.

TJ immediately stoped pushing Cyrus and  just sat quietly in his own swing. "What do you mean?" Cyrus asked.

Buffy shrugged and put her hands in her sweatshirt pockets. It was an awkwardly chilly spring day, too cold for a shirt but yet, too hot for a jacket. "Well, you've just been so down lately."

Cyrus returned to dropping his head to the ground and digging his shoe in the wood chips. He shrugged. "Are you alright?" Buffy asked.

Cyrus stood up and put his hands in his own pockets. "I'm fine," he snapped. "I'm just, tired." And he turned and stomped away.

Buffy groaned in distress. "I don't know what his deal is," she said to TJ.

"Well, he was fine until you showed up."

Buffy gave him a warning look that also showed her desperate plea in her eyes. "Do you know what's up with him?"

TJ shrugged and pulled a Cyrus, avoiding eye contact by looking to the ground. "He never wants to talk," he responded.

"Ugh, he loves to talk." TJ started to realize the fear that Buffy was displaying. He noticed something was off about Cyrus lately but he didn't know what it was, so he just let it go and let him have his space.

"Can you ask him?"

TJ sighed, "Buffy-" "Please, he only ever talks to you. He never hangs out with Andi or Jonah and I anymore, he only ever comes here."

TJ rolled his eyes and stood from the swing. "I'll try."