I Don't Do Sadness // Jyrus

mourning

Cyrus' eyes drifted open at the sound of Jonah's alarm. His back felt twisted from the hard floor and his mouth had a litter taste. Jonah turned over to his nightstand and shut off the alarm before sitting up. "Good morning," he said to Cyrus.

He rubbed his eyes and sat awkwardly on the side of his bed, looking down to Cyrus, who continued to stare at the ceiling. "So, are you gonna go to school today?" He asked.

Cyrus almost laughed before he shook his head. "Well, my mom leaves the house at around 9, so then you'll be here alone." Cyrus looked over at him and shrugged. "Okay."

"So, you're alright with that?" Jonah asked. "You can watch tv and eat something-"

"I'll be fine," Cyrus reassured him.

Jonah slid off of his bed and went into the kitchen to get breakfast. His mom was standing at the counter, getting coffee and smiled to him as he got out a bowl. "Good morning," she said.

He said, "Good morning," back to her as he went around getting his cereal.

"I saw a post last night," she said, to which he only nodded to. "On of your classmates went missing yesterday."

Jonah froze and felt his heart start pounding in his chest. He didn't know how to respond, whether to act like he already knew or didn't, but she said, "Cyrus Goodman."

Jonah turned to face her, with a blank face. "Isn't he the boy whose Bar Mitzvah you went to?" She asked, referring to the invitation that was still hanging on the fridge. Jonah slowly nodded and squeaked out, "Yeah."

"Did you already know?" She asked him.

He looked back down at the counter and nodded. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. She cradled his head and said to him, "They'll find him." He nodded before slipping out of her grasp and over to the fridge for milk. Cyrus' name and picture on the fridge seemed to stare down at him, and Jonah tried not to look at it and stare at the floor in front of him.

He finished getting his breakfast very slowly so that he was still in the kitchen when his mom went to the bathroom. He quickly grabbed a banana along with his cereal for Cyrus, and quickly went into his room.

Cyrus was still sitting on the floor, in a mess of blankets and pillows. Jonah tossed him the banana, snapping Cyrus out of the daze he was in while picking at his nail. "I got you that for breakfast," Jonah said, smiling at Cyrus.

Cyrus thought Jonah looked so cute with his innocent smile that he didn't even care that he wasn't going to eat it, he just thanked him and played with the fruit in his hands.

The two boys didn't speak while Jonah ate his breakfast, scrolling through his phone. He offered Cyrus the charger to charge his very dead phone, and Cyrus cringed at all of the texts from his parents and friends. There was an even amount of threats and caring texts, but he ignored them all.

When Jonah got up to get dressed, it was as if he forgot Cyrus was in the room because he took off his shirt and started to change. Cyrus tried hard to look at his banana or phone, but his eyes kept crawling back up to Jonah's back and blushing.

As Jonah went around his room to pick up his school things, in a newfound rush, there was banging on his door from his older brother, yelling, "Come on, hurry up!"

Jonah quickly went to the door, mouthing "Bye," to Cyrus before leaving him alone in the room.

Once Jonah climbed into the backseat of his dad's car, it started rolling down the driveway and down the street before he could buckle his seatbelt. His older brother sat in the front seat, chatting to his dad. He was in high school, so every morning Jonah got in the car at around 7:10 in order to drop him off and then head to Jefferson approximately an hour before classes started.

No one in the car spoke to Jonah, not even his dad after his brother left. They only spoke when they pulled up to the front of the school and his dad said, "Have a good day," and Jonah mumbled a response.

Jonah sat at a table by himself and did the homework that he hadn't done the night before when Buffy threw her stuff on the table, sitting down with Andi beside her. She sighed in despair, and Jonah quickly put his stuff back in his back to focus on what was on her mind.

Her and Andi seemed to have made up, even if it was them coming together for Cyrus' sake. Andi's eyes were red and she seemed preoccupied, staying up all night with Bex. Buffy was also preoccupied, but she was better at covering up her emotions. "Where do you think he is?" Andi worridly asked Jonah.

"Cyrus?" asked Jonah, caught off guard. "Yes, Cyrus," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

Jonah shrugged and said, "Well, I don't know."

Buffy rolled her eyes again before rubbing her head. "There's been no sight of him," she stated before looking right at Jonah and saying, "and he's not that fast, so he couldn't have gone far."

"Do you think he was kidnapped?" Jonah asked, trying to be a part of the conversation but also being sure he wasn't giving anything away, which only radiated awkwardness off of him.

Buffy looked at him strangely before sadness drew her face down. "I think he killed himself."

Jonah almost choked. That was what Cyrus was trying to do. "Wh-why?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"It was my fault," Andi said, breaking down into tears.

Buffy put her hand on Andi's arm, saying, "Not just yours." Jonah didn't miss the quick glance that she shot him. "It was his mom and step-dad and himself."

"I don't think he killed himself," Jonah blurted out. Buffy rolled her eyes once again and looked at him for an explanation. "Well, I think he knows better, you know? Like he wouldn't go and do that at 13."

Buffy sighed and rested her head on her hands. "I hope you're right."