I Don't Do Sadness // Jyrus

blue devils

Cyrus paced around and Andi and Buffy worridly watched. His heart rate was increasing and he was mumbling under his breath.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked, breaking the silence.

He stopped in his place and looked up at them. He looked stressed. It was radiating.

"You'll be fine," Andi told him, stepping over to him.

He shook his head and said, "No I won't," as barely a whisper. They both thought he was worried about reading the Torah, and of course he was, but he was also worrying about something much bigger. "TJ told me that I should come out to everyone today."

Andi's smile fell and she easily matched Cyrus' worried expression. Buffy merely rolled her eyes. They said two different responses simultaneously. "Oh," and, "Don't listen to TJ." Andi looked over to Buffy as a demand to stop and be comforting. Buffy rolled her eyes once again and both of the girls hugged Cyrus.

"Do whatever you want to do," Buffy said into his ear.

The door opened then and Bex poked her head into the room, smiling at them and saying, "Girls, we should get to our seats."

They both turned back to Cyrus and told him, "Good luck," before leaving. And, Bex winked at him.

He read the Torah perfectly, not stumbling once. He figured that may have been what was stressing him out the most. Especially when he could feel his parent's eyes creeping onto him and knowing the consequence of not saying it correctly. Afterwards, he felt much calmer and relaxed as everyone congratulated him. He felt so proud of himself and he was glad that all of the attention was on him.

He was feeling that way until Buffy came over. She came walking through his crowd of family with a smile of her face. She came over to him and squeezed his shoulder after she hugged him, reminding him of the inevitable. He was able to look around at all of the people congratulating him and being proud of him and remember that they wouldn't be proud of him in a few hours. After they knew.

Cyrus was standing there, alone, his thoughts pulling him away from the commotion, when Jonah walked over to him.

"Good job, dude," Jonah said, flashing Cyrus his signature smile.

Cyrus felt his own mouth smiling and he forgot everything that he was previously worrying about. Staring into Jonah's bright green eyes, he felt unbelievably calm, despite his heart beating a mile a minute and his hands sweating and shaking. He had forgotten Jonah had even said anything before Cyrus laughed and looked back down to his feet.

"Thanks."

"Hey," Jonah said, catching Cyrus' attention off of his shoes. "Mazel tov."

And then he did the handshake. They did the handshake. Jonah had called Cyrus "dude," then they made physical contact.

It was when Jonah walked away that Cyrus realized that he hadn't seen Andi. He went over to the table where Buffy and Bex were eating snacks and right as he arrived, Bex blurted out, "Congratulations!"

He smiled and she stopped for a moment before saying, "Shoot, I mean, uh," and her and Buffy said at the same time, "Mazel tov," as if Buffy was coaching her.

Cyrus laughed and thanked them before asking where Andi was. Bex sneered at her plate and mumbled, "Probably in the bathroom crying."

Cyrus felt his face sink with worry. "What? Why?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Her and Jonah aren't a thing anymore and he's acting all weird around her," she told him.

Of course. Everything had been going great for Cyrus all day, but of course he has to now deal with Andi and Jonah. He had hoped that if it were him and Jonah, none of this would happen. But, alas, he could only hope.

"I'll go find her," Cyrus announced, trying to walk away from the table.

Buffy grabbed his arm. "No, don't worry about it."

"Too late," he told her, trying to turn away once again. This time, Bex grabbed his arm. "Really. She'll be fine. I'll handle it. Just focus on your party."

Cyrus frowned and looked down at his feet. He was done with he conversation now, not having any motivation to continue.

"Cyrus?" Buffy asked, getting his attention. He didn't want to keep thinking about Andi and Jonah. He looked up at Buffy, watery eyes. He tuned to Bex and put on his best smile, saying, "Thanks," before walking off.

The party had been slightly better. At least in the beginning. He sat with his parents and ate quietly for awhile when his mother came up behind him. She grabbed his shoulder and whispered into his ear, "Go have fun."

He got up and left the conversation Ham was was having with his step-father. He wandered around to try and find some friends. He found Jonah, but he was dancing with some girls and it hurt Cyrus to look at. Andi and Buffy were nowhere to be found, and frankly, Cyrus didn't care. He found TJ sitting at a table by himself and went over.

The moment Cyrus sat down and TJ greeted him, Cyrus slammed his head down onto the table. TJ's permanent smirk disappeared and he filled with worry as he asked, "What's wrong?"

Cyrus kept his head down and just shrugged. Cyrus knew exactly what was wrong: not being able to hang out with Jonah, not wanting to hang out with Andi, and knowing how mad his family would be with him in a few hours. But he didn't want to tell TJ. TJ stood up and pulled Cyrus up with him. "Come on, we're dancing," he told him.

Cyrus whined and his legs have gave out as he cried, "But I'm not in the mood!"

TJ continued to drag him to the dance floor. "Come on," he insisted. "It'll make you feel better."