I Don't Do Sadness // Jyrus

dolor

When Cyrus' step-mother came to pick him and Buffy up, Cyrus was clearly upset so she had to say yes when he asked is Buffy could stay the night. They stopped at a corner store to pick up some candy that Cyrus claimed he would eat, but never touched the entire night. Then, they stopped at Buffy's house so that she could pick up some things.

When she went inside, it was silent in the car. It had been silent when she was still in the car, but the air between Cyrus and his step-mother was cold and the silence felt tense. His step-mother turned in her seat to face Cyrus, who was on his phone. After looking at him for a moment, searching for words in her head, she finally said, "So," to get his attention, which it did not. "You're going back to your mom's house tomorrow."

Cyrus ignored what was on his phone, shoving it into his lap as he shot up to look at her. "What?!" He asked and she slowly nodded. "No, why?!" He groaned in agony, turning away from her to look out the dark window.

He never told his parents exactly what had happened at his mother's house. They knew about the previous abuse, but after nights of Cyrus listening to angry yelling, they filed for a divorce. And after more nights of yelling, mostly his mother yelling at him, Cyrus told his father about what she was doing to him: spanking him, pushing him, and hitting him, there was more yelling.

It had mostly been sorted out after his mother met his step-father, but they eventually morphed into a tag team. He would yell at Cyrus for something, and then his mother would punish him. That was what he didn't tell his father, he figured he'd just tell him to "be a man". He did tell his step-mother, though, throughout his years of therapy. And, due to patient confidentiality, she wasn't supposed to tell his father. 

Cyrus never dreamed of telling her about the abuse now. It wasn't just the marks on his body, or the words he'd hear, it was the pull his heart had, how heavy his feet felt, and how tired his head was. He told her that he was unhappy there at that they didn't understand, and she told his father that it'd be best for him to stay with them a little longer for Cyrus' health. 

His mother didn't seem to care at first. He was just a burden for her in Cyrus' eyes. And for his step-father, it was always like he was an unwanted accompaniment. Like his step-father wanted his mother and then got stuck with Cyrus, too.

"Well, she said that she misses you," his step-mother said. When he didn't respond, she continued, "And it's unfair to keep you away from her for so long. And it's against out agreement."

 He turned back to her, now teary eyed. "But I don't want to go back!" 

She leaned forward and rubbed his knee, giving him a sympathetic smile. "Just try it, okay? If it gets bad, we'll try to change the agreement." He looked down at her hand as she said, "And you'll tell us if it gets bad, right?"

He nodded his head and she smiled, turning back to the wheel. It was a lie, and his step-mother knew it. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't, though. When Buffy got back in the car, Cyrus was looking out the window to not let her see the tears in his eyes.

She was completely oblivious to the conversation that they just had and didn't feel the awkward tension between Cyrus and his step-mother. Cyrus stared out the window at all of the passing street lights, watching them all go out of focus as tears built up in his eyes and rolled down his face.