One For The Road

Chapter Sixteen

When I was finally able to stop crying, I told Just and Heidi the entire story from start to finish. I told them about how Eugene had left my mom, Kaleb, and I when I was nine. I told them about the letter he had sent about a week before. I told them about the conversation we'd had, filling in the parts they hadn't heard when the door was standing wide open.

"I hope I never see him again," I finished weakly from the backseat, a tissue pressed against my nostrils to slow the bleeding.

"Do you know how brave it was for you to stand up to him, though?" Just asked softly.

"He's right," Heidi agreed from the driver's seat. "I could never do anything like that. You did so well, and you got your point across so well. You were determined and commanding, and that's important." She took a deep breath. "It sounds like your father isn't a great guy. I'm glad you got to tell him off."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, guys."

There was a long, long interval of silence. Finally, I asked the question that was on my mind, though it came out shakily and unsurely.

"Heidi," I mumbled, "if you don't mind me asking, what's going on between you and your brother?"

She took a slow, deep breath, and I could hear her shifting in her seat. She looked over at Just. "How much did you tell him?" she asked him softly.

"Not a lot," he replied. "Just that you bicker a lot more than normal siblings."

"Okay," Heidi spoke out again. "Chase, I'm going to tell you this because I feel like you deserve to know, especially after everything that just happened. You've done a good job with holding back on the prying, unlike me, and I'm sorry I was so hard on you. But you should really know, I guess." She paused again, as if she were searching for the right words to say, and Just looked at her, nodding encouragingly. Heidi shifted in her seat again.

"My brother's name is Adrien," she began softly. "He's a couple of years older than me. We've... we've never been very close. We would bicker over the tiniest little things as kids. Our fighting never resolved anything. We just fought because we wanted to. It wasn't good."

She paused again, thinking for a moment. "I guess it was around the time he was in eighth grade that things started getting really bad," she finally continued. "I was in fifth grade, eleven years old. He was fourteen. I think that was when he started hanging out with really bad people. He started vaping that year. Still does it. He thinks it's cool." Her voice went monotone. "It's absolutely disgusting. But he started making bad decisions and taking out his negative emotions on me. He'd come home late from school and yell at me about how I needed to be a more supportive sister to him." Her voice cracked. "Every day, every single day of middle school, I told him that it wasn't my fault, that he was ruining himself and shouldn't make such bad decisions. Long story short, most of the time I'd end up locked in my room crying into my pillow. Most of the time nothing got too physical, just some shoving from the both of us, but sometimes he'd hit me. Not often, but sometimes."

I sucked in a breath, anger rising in my chest. "You're kidding."

"I wish I could say I was," she whispered shakily. "At first, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had two good friends who were really supportive, Lilly and Mya. They were there for me for quite a while, but then Mya came out as bisexual, and I was totally for it, but Lilly took it really badly. Mya started avoiding us. I had to cut off my friendship with Lilly when she started getting popular and started treating me badly. I think cutting things off with her was definitely the right choice, but I was totally alone for the rest of middle school. My parents couldn't really do anything about Adrien, and even if they could have, I don't think they would've taken the initiative." She sighed. "They couldn't care less about what the two of us do. Finally, when I was a freshman, I was put into advanced sophomore classes and met Just, who introduced my to Chris, Dan, and Gabby. They were just as screwed up as me, but they were all sweet and accepting. Adrien and I still fight. A lot. It's easier with the group, though. I found a home in them, and I hope you can, too."

I found myself smiling at her words. I had never been treated with so much patience and kindness, and it was just what I needed after our stressful morning.

We were on our way home now. Just had called his mom to tell her this, which led to about a million questions as to where he was and who he was with. I sent my mom a quick text, the first time I had physically acknowledged the fact that she had been trying to reach me during this trip. Because of this, she was quick to respond, asking where I was and when I would be home. I told her we were in Idaho and that we would be back in a few days. Mom tried to call me, but I didn't answer it. I wasn't ready to hear the heartbreaking sound of her concerned voice yet. I had put her through a lot of worrying, and I felt bad about it.

"I have one question," Just said carefully. I looked up to see him turned toward me, studying me closely. "It's okay if you don't want to answer right now, but are you actually gay?"

My heart skipped a beat. What had I said again? "What do you mean?"

"You told your dad it wouldn't matter if your friends were gay because you were. Is that true?"

I hesitated. Heidi had just told me about how accepting she was of her friend, Lilly, but that didn't mean Just— or the rest of their group— would react as nicely. I was trying to search his face for any indication of how he might feel, but he was a blank slate.

He must have sensed my uneasiness because his features softened a bit. "You don't have to feel bad if you are," he reassured me quickly. "Almost everyone in our friend group is a part of the LGBT community. I'm gay, Gabby is aro/ace, Dan is trans, and Chris is genderqueer. You don't have any reason to feel afraid." He smiled warmly, and I could feel myself relaxing as I slowly nodded.

"I'm gay," I admitted sheepishly. "Sorry you had to find out about it in that context."

"I'm sorry you had to say it in that context," Heidi retorted. "But thanks for being brave enough to confirm it."

I paused. "You guys are really good friends, you know that?"

Just smiled at me. "Well, you do deserve the best."