One For The Road

Chapter Twenty Seven

It must have been over a month since Just and I had engaged in an actual conversation with each other.

Our little bump in the road had led to me trying to avoid him at all costs so he wouldn't try to confront me. He seemed to be doing the same at this point. We had tried to make small talk, but it normally didn't get very far when we were the only two that were a part of the conversation, and it never took long for one of us to make an excuse about how we had something to do before leaving. A couple of weeks into this awkward tension, we stopped trying altogether, only speaking when it was necessary. Sooner or later, spring break rolled around, and now we weren't texting, either.

Honestly?

I missed it. So much.

I missed Just's witty banter and stupid hilarious jokes and his adorable laugh. I missed his random texts throughout the day and his goodnight messages, despite how short they were. I missed the way he could comfort me with a single look, a few words, a pat on the back. I missed the way he could make me laugh effortlessly in a way that few people could before. I missed the soft look of his profile as he sat next to me on my couch, half-asleep as we watched a movie, his eyelids dropping and causing his eyelashes to fan out and his lips parting slightly in almost a pouty way. I missed the soft looks he gave me, the smug ones, the elated ones. I missed Just.

I wasn't the only one. Kaleb eventually began asking when Just would be back. All I could bring myself to say was that I didn't know when he'd be back. He was awfully busy these days. He didn't have as much time to come over anymore. I didn't know for sure whether or not that was a lie. Kaleb would always apologize and say he missed him. I would say that I did, too.

I ended up coming out to my mother a while after the incident. Something was just telling me that the time was right.

She was in the kitchen making dinner— home early for once— and I was sitting at the table, working on some sketches since I had nothing better to do. I could have been doing it in my room, but I had grown to miss my mother's presence in our house, and it was nice to be in the same room as her for once. Plus, I'd been cooped up in my room for the beginning of spring break, and I wasn't going to reject the opportunity of getting out a little, even if it was just my kitchen.

"So," I said awkwardly, breaking the comfortable silence between us. "I've been thinking about telling you this for a while now, but I'm..." I hesitated. "I'm not straight. I'm gay. I just thought you should know that." It ended up being as easy yet absolutely nerve-wracking as I had imagined it.

She froze for a few seconds, but then she turned to me and smiled softly.

"I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me," she said, walking over to my spot at the table. She kissed my forehead softly, leaning back to smile at me. "And I want you to know that I love you regardless and couldn't be happier to call you my son."

Her support drew a huge, legitimate smile out of me, something I hadn't felt in quite a while. Still, I didn't plan on telling her about Just yet. I wasn't ready for that, and I doubted she was, either.

A few days later, I was in my room again, reading a book that Heidi had recommended to me and trying not to look over at my phone to check for messages. The doorbell rang, and since my mom was at work by now and Kaleb wasn't supposed to answer the door, I rushed out to open it myself. I don't know who exactly I was expecting to see standing out on the doorstep, but I certainly wasn't expecting Just. I'd seen him in the hallways and in class at school about a week ago, but it was at that moment that I realized I'd missed seeing his face up close. A lot.

"Hey," I said, trying not to sound as awkward as I felt. I stepped back a little. "Come on in." He obliged, not once meeting my eyes as I shut the door.