One For The Road

Chapter Twenty Nine

As someone who wasn't great at keeping up with conversations, the fact that Just had managed a one-and-a-half-hour call was quite a feat. And we were still going at it.

"I'm impressed," I murmured, grinning over at my wall like an idiot. Gross. What was he doing to me? "I normally can't hold up conversations for more than five minutes. You've drawn something out of me."

"It's not like we haven't talked longer before," he chuckled. He was right. Before our stupid not-talking period, we'd had super long phone calls. Something about them was different now. I certainly wasn't complaining.

"I need to go," I sighed, turning on my bed so I was lying on my back. "I gotta finish my homework. I'm telling you, you can come over if you want."

"And I'm telling you, I have to watch Adriel." I could hear the teasing smile in his voice over the phone. "I'd come over if I could."

I groaned dramatically, and he giggled. Then, there was a moment of silence. I really should have said my goodbyes, but something was holding me back.

"I've been thinking," I said instead, ironically without really thinking about it before the words came out of my mouth. "It's been, what, a week since we talked about this whole crush thing, right?" I cringed at how upfront that was, but tiptoeing around this topic didn't seem appropriate anymore.

"Yeah." He sounded a little breathless. "Have you... figured it out yet? How you feel? Because I think I have."

"I have, too." I found myself curling up a little, my heart beating faster. "I was— um—" I took a deep breath. This is Just. Stop overreacting. "Do you wanna be my boyfriend?" Again, I was cringing at the lack of subtlety.

He laughed breathily. "You sound nervous."

I rolled my eyes. "I am, you fool." I didn't bring up the fact that he sounded nervous, too.

"Yes. I do want to be your boyfriend."

I had a feeling he would say that, but I still felt a huge smile breaking out onto my face.

"Cool. Nice." Shut up, Chase. "That makes me happy."

"Me, too." He really did sound happy, and something about that made my heart twitch joyously.

"Okay. I really do need to go. But I'll see you tomorrow." I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face.

"See you tomorrow," he said, sounding wistful. And we hung up.

Dancing around my room was totally an appropriate response to the situation. Don't try to tell me you wouldn't have done the same.

•••

Something about being able to call each other boyfriends seemed to unlock a whole other plane of existence for Just and I. Our fondness essentially quadrupled on itself, and I could now see why Heidi was so exasperated when Just I told her we'd finally come to terms with our feelings. If Just had always looked at me so lovingly, I was a blind man. I wasn't complaining about said loving looks. Not at all. But catching him smiling at me while I was making dinner for Kaleb, Just, and I was always a pleasant surprise that left me with the feeling that I was loved and recognized. I hadn't realized how starved I was of that feeling.

Kaleb was the first person to know about us. He'd heard me dancing in my room after our phone call and asked what had happened. Even though he was heavy, I'd picked him up and spun him around, telling him that Just was my boyfriend now, something that I still couldn't believe. Kaleb was very excited for both of us and was always ecstatic when Just came around.

Heidi was next. Just and I casually told her a few days later at lunch and she literally choked on her sandwich. We were obviously really guilty about it, but she said it was find and that she was happy for us. Friendship at its finest. We told everyone else at our table as a whole later that day, and everyone else seemed totally cool with it. Gabby seemed to be seething behind her smile, though, and I felt my thoughts turn sour at the thought of our last real conversation about Heidi and Just. I was quick to look away when she made eye contact with me, looking instead to my beautiful boyfriend— boyfriend!— and smiling.

That night, Just came to my house for another homework hustle that quickly turned into a movie marathon. Our English homework was long forgotten as we sat together on the couch, watching Finding Nemo and eating more popcorn than we could hold.

I wasn't sure exactly when it happened, but Just was eventually cuddled up next to me. I'd felt him tuck his feet up onto the couch next to him, curling up against my side. He seemed hesitant, like he was afraid I would take it badly, but I was quick to rest my arm around his shoulders, using my thumb to gently run soothing patterns on his arm.

It wasn't until that night that I realized how touch-starved I really was. When I wasn't at school, I basically lived in my room where my brother would only sometimes hang out with me and my mother was never present. Feeling Just snuggling up against me made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

"This is a bad idea," I mumbled after a while, more to myself than anyone.

"What?" he asked, looking up at me. God, his gorgeous eyes.

"Us." I brushed the hair out of his eyes. "I don't want my dumb negative feelings to hurt you or get in our way."

He pouted up at me, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together. "Don't talk like that. Things aren't supposed to get that angsty when you're not even a week into the relationship."

He was clearly kidding, but I was genuinely concerned for him. His pout turned to a legitimate frown when he noticed my lack of amusement, and I immediately wished I had laughed and kept that stupid frown off of his face. It didn't belong there. He should have been smiling.

"I really like you. And I don't wanna mess this up." I sighed, and he squeezed my hand gently, reassuringly. "I'm super emotional and it always screws everything up. I don't wanna screw it up with you. You don't deserve it. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I feel like I won't be able to give that to you."

"Hey." He sat up so he was level with me. He grabbed both of my hands and squeezed them gently. "Would I tell you I liked you if I didn't actually like you?"

"No," I mumbled.

"Exactly. So you don't have to worry about making me happy. You already do by being you." I averted my eyes, and he didn't talk again until I was looking back at him. "I'm not asking you to be perfect, Chase. Nobody's perfect. But you're you, and I really, really like you. And you make me happy. And I don't want you to feel bad for yourself or for me." He smiled a little. "We'll be okay. Don't worry."

I pulled him back against me so he was curled up into my side. I didnt want him to see the reddening of my cheeks.

"Thanks, Just." I stared ahead at the TV screen.

His voice was barely above a whisper.

"It'll be okay."

•••

this book'll probably be ending soon because im running out of ideas for the main storyline

but im hoping to publish at least one au for these kiddos in the future so