One For The Road

Chapter Twenty

My first mistake was believing that school would be normal the next day.

I stuck with Heidi and Just for the entire morning before first period. Half of the student body came up to us wondering what had happened to us; "You just disappeared!" "Did you all get sick or something?" "Did you skip class?" "Where'd you go?" The questions were very overwhelming and very annoying. We eventually chose to hide out in the library where there were less students.

I noticed a lot of people giving me weird looks, too. Sure, Heidi, Just, and I all got our fair share of questioning glances and hands covering mouths to hide secrets. But it seemed like there were eyes burning holes into my back, and each time I turned around, someone was giving me a funny look. Not my friends. Only me. There was also the occasional snicker aimed in my direction.

"What's going on?" I mumbled to the two of them. "I feel like people are looking at me weird. I don't know why."

"We just disappeared for like a week and a half," Heidi deadpanned with a shrug. "Of course people are looking."

"No, I mean people are watching me all be way down the halls and laughing at me. It could be that, but it doesn't make sense as to why people are smirking and laughing."

Just frowned. "I don't know."

We all settled onto the beanbag chairs in the library. Heidi and Just chatted as I attempted to take a quick cat nap— it would take forever to get my sleep schedule back on track after that trip, not that it was very stable in the first place. Last night, I had an exceptionally hard time getting to sleep.

I never ended up getting my nap. The first bell rang, and the three of us had to rise and head to chemistry together. The stares of our classmates followed us all the way there.

First hour was mostly a blur. Mr. Green handed our class their assignment and explained it before meeting with Just, Heidi, and I to guide us through what homework we had to make up and the basic gist of how to do it. It was a lot of work, but we had about a week to make up for the time we'd lost, so hopefully we wouldn't get too overwhelmed.

First period ended fairly quickly, and the three of us waited for each other outside of the chemistry classroom since we hadn't been sitting together. We silently made our way to the English classroom and took our seats.

That was when the trouble began.

It wasn't too bad at first. One of our classmates— her name escapes me, but she was a fairly quiet girl— approached us before class started. "Is it true that you're gay?" she asked me.

I stiffened in my seat. "What kind of question is that?"

"I was just wondering," she said, averting her eyes and shrugging her shoulders lazily. "I heard you were and wondered if it was true."

"It's not," I lied. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Some of my friends," she replied.

"Well, I don't know where they heard it, but it's not true. Probably a story someone came up with to amuse themselves and humiliate me." I looked her dead in the eye. "Also, don't just walk up to people and ask if they're gay. It's disrespectful, and that's a personal question."

She held her hands up defensively, her lips curling into a frown as she stepped back. "Sorry. I was just wondering." She finally turned and walked away, and I waited until she was out of earshot before turning to Just and Heidi. They looked as confused as I felt.

"Where could she have heard that?" I muttered urgently, scanning the classroom for possible suspects. "You guys are pretty much the only o—"

And then Jason Krotz walked into the room, and every thought in my mind was replaced with blind fury.

He locked eyes with me and smiled innocently. I wondered if he knew I'd been confronted about this yet. He had to have been the one to start the rumor. He was the only one other than Heidi and Just that knew about my sexuality, and they would never tell anyone.

Heidi and Just followed my line of sight until they saw him, too. Just turned back to me, his eyes wide.

"You don't think...?" He left the question hanging in the air. I swallowed.

"Oh, I do think. He's the only other one who knows." I slowly curled and uncurled my fist underneath my desk. Jason made no attempt to approach us, but the look he'd given me when he walked in made me sick. Now, he was sitting in the next row of desks, and I could practically feel my anger radiating from myself. My fingers were going faster, curling and uncurling and curling and uncurling and curling and uncurling until I was digging so hard into my own palms that there were little indents from my nails in my skin, threatening to draw blood.

"Calm down." Heidi took my hands and straightened my fingers out, turning them gently so my palms were facing upward. She frowned at the crescent-shaped marks that now littered the centers of my hands.

"Is that a habit?" she asked, looking into my eyes. "Do you do that a lot?"

"Yeah. It keeps me from doing harm to anyone else. Helps me resist the urge to punch something or someone." I hesitated, thinking for a moment. "It's usually someone."

"You've gotta find a better way to deal with that," she said, wincing and letting go of my hands. "At least get a stress ball or something. That's gotta hurt."

"It keeps me from doing harm to anyone else," I repeated.

"Oh, look." Jacob's voice rang out from somewhere behind me, and I could feel myself stiffen. "It's the most interaction the gay boy is ever gonna have with a girl."

A few of the people around him snickered, and I started doing it again, curling and uncurling and curling and—

I took a deep breath and willed myself not to turn around and look at Jason. His stupid face would only make me angrier. He was the immature one here; I wouldn't succumb to his childish actions again. I took another deep breath.

Oh, Lord, give me the willpower to get through this school year.

•••

this is a filler hbqokdnwncso sorry