Driven by Confidence, a Ross Lynch Fan Fiction

Chapter 5

The drive to pick up Ross's car was suprisingly not awkward at all.

Until he decided to bring up Jace.

"So, um... I'm sorry about walking in on you last night."

Yep. Very awkward. I was glad I was driving, so I had an excuse to not look at him. My face heated.

"I was a little surprised. You never seemed like the kind of girl who would hook up with a guy she just met."

After a moment's thought, I replied, "You're right."

"I am?" Shock laced his voice.

"Yeah. It really isn't like me to do that. But I don't really care. I felt like hooking up with him, so I did, and I don't regret it."

After a few moments of silence, Ross said, "You've changed."

I laughed scornfully. "Yeah, well a stupid breakup can do that to you."

I could feel his suddenly sad aura.

His voice was angry though. "I've apologized countless times. Why the hell do you keep doing this?"

Tears formed in my eyes, but I blinked them away. "I want you to hurt the way I hurt, Ross!" My voice cracked. "I want you to be the one curled under the covers with your chest aching and your wrist throbbing and your mind shut off because you feel too much! I don't want to be the only one suffering because you broke up with me for a stupid reason. I was curled up in bed with no will to do anything for a month. I want you to feel as confused and hurt as I did!"

His silence told me he didn't hurt. He only felt guilty for hurting me. Tears were freely faling down my cheeks as I pulled up to the house. Only Ross's silver Prius was there.

I parked in front of it, but didn't look at Ross. If I did, I would probably cry more.

"Hey..." he said, his voice soft and nurturing, "Would you look at me?"

I shook my head. Damn. Why did I feel so small?

"Please?" His voice cracked, causing it to sounded desperate. He was on the verge of crying. I looked at him, tears still streaming down my cheeks. His brown eyes were swollen. He had been silently crying this entire ride.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm so sorry for hurting you so bad. I'm even more sorry that I wasn't hurt. I wish you would hurt me, but I like you so much that nothing you could do would ever hurt me. Dianna, you're the kind of girl every person needs in their life. You bring so much fun and positivity and brightness wherever you go. If I can't have you the way I did before, could we at least try to be friends?"

After a few moments of deep thought and the desire for him to get out of my car, I nodded. Ross smiled the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face. He pulled me into a huge hug. I had missed his hugs. Suddenly, he was laughing, and then I was laughing too.

"Now," he said as he finished his laughter, "You're going on a date with Jace, right?"

I nodded.

Ross reached to my face and wiped my tears away. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.

"Stop your tears. You don't want swollen eyes."

Ross unbuckled.

"Call me if you need anything," he said. His face was  suddenly close to mine. He kept glancing down to my swollen lips. He kept getting closer and closer. He was going to kiss me. He was going to kiss me.

I quickly turned my head and pulledmy bottomlip between my teeth.

Ross pursed his lips and nodded. "Right. Friends. I'll see ya."