Echo Creek Mental Institution

Chapter 10: A Case of the Depressions

I've been here for half a day and already I've gotten beaten up and punished and honestly I was hoping for sleep. It's amazing how all these main character stuff was happening to me. I'm not a main character so that's weird. Although I'm sure Jackie or Janna or Marco or anyone else's would've been more entertaining.
I sigh and continue down the hallway towards my room. I so desperately wanted to find my friends. Come to think of it, I was missing so much. What were they doing? It was probably fun and I was missing it. But I also wanted to sleep. I felt as if I was in a perpetual state of tiredness. I could sleep until the ends of the earth and I'd still be sleepy. Although, whenever I was given the option of sleep, it seemed to allude me. It was weird as shit.
As I push open my door to an empty room, I stare at my sad, lonely bed. If I sleep during our down time, I was missing a golden opportunity to do plot stuff. The reason heroes never choose to go to sleep is they might miss plot stuff. A conversation they happen to over here, a huge twist, a villain rising to power. Never has a protagonist chosen to sleep instead of wondering around or doing actual stuff.
But then again I'm not a protagonist. I'm a side character. Do side characters sleep during the day? Or are they always just out of focus behind the actual plot? No one ever asked these questions because no one cares about the blurred out figures behind the protagonist having mediocre conversation with far too few hand gestures and expression to be an actual interaction. I wonder what there story is? Maybe they have one even better than the protagonist. Maybe they just got back from an adventure. Maybe they have a story. I wonder how many times I've ended up in the back ground of someone's story. "Oh yeah. While I was at the store buying fruit there was this blond chick with devil horns and tall rainbow socks and a sparkly belt. She was smiling which was weird cause she was in the produce section of a stop and shop. Anyways, they were out of avocados."
And so I flip on my bed, closing my eyes and preparing for the sleep that will never come. (And, in case you're wondering, it did never come)
What did come were thoughts of lost, covering me in the feelings of the shit I just did today and how horrible it was. I actually did it. I actually ended up here. My problems finally became so shitty that I almost ended my life. What sorta no good shit pile does that to her family!? My parents didn't need to know that I did that. I could've just come back inside. I could've just went to sleep. That was an easy course of events for me. How dare I interfere everyone's lives with this!? And, not that anyone will care, but what will people think at school!? What will I tell my teachers? Will I have to make up work!? That's shit that I'm in here cause I'm a stupid worthless lazy piece of crap and I have to leave and show everyone how that is true. I'll have so much work. Any tests. I have to be here for 5 days that's until Saturday that's so long and I'm missing sports and extra curricular and what will collages think and Jesus Christ this was a shit decision what am I doing!?!? Why am I like this someone fix me!
I roll over. This wasn't working but while my mind was racing, my freaking meat flesh vessel was tired and lazy and enjoyed the darkness and eyelids casted upon my eyes, even if the fluorescent light couldn't be turned off. I pull the covers over my head but left my face out. I was cocooned, I was still. I could hear the soft hum of the radiator next to the slight noise from below my room. Someone was yelling, but it sounded as if they had no teeth. I moved slightly to itch my shoulder, the bed letting out a high pitch groan. The springs poked my hip and I pulled my arms closer to my chest. I wanted my stuffed animal, I needed someone to hug. Suddenly, my heart beats heavier as foot steps walked by. My blood is in my ears as they come and fade like a train. I don't know why, but if I'm half asleep and someone approaches my door my heart quickens and I start panicking. Should I pretend to be asleep? Tell them I'm awake? I never knew the right thing to do. I usually went with the asleep option. No one expects anything from you when you're asleep. They expect you to be, well, asleep. Maybe it was the fact I'm always tired or my brain is more active than my skin and bones can handle, but I felt like I was in a reverse nightmare. No, that's not a dream it's when being asleep is better than being awake. I wish being awake happened in a blink to an eye and you could savor being asleep. You could dream where it's like a blank piece of paper; anything can happen in your head. It's your body that's limited, that's slow and tired and to gravity. My head could reach the farthest corners of the galaxy, my body couldn't even reach the Oreos on the top shelf of my kitchen cabinet.
God I miss Oreos. I miss being able to eat and eat and eat. That's what I do when I get bored. I eat. Even if it never seems to fill me up, since when I was little I apparently ate a balloon that stayed inflated in my stomach for 14 years so no food could ever actually make me full. I think food and sleep is the one thing that ever kept me from telling my parents that I feared that I was coming down with a case of the depressions. From what I know, people who are depressed don't eat and don't sleep. They also isolate themselves, stay quiet and don't care about what others think, especially adults. I ate. A lot. I ate when I was bored. I ate when I wasn't even hungry. I ate at random times. Needless to say, I ate. Food mostly. I had a habit of chewing on my headphones and blankets and nails and such. Weirdo, I know. Anyways I slept. I slept 6 hours on a school night probably. I'd fall asleep around 12:30-1:00, maybe later, and I'd wake up around 7:30. I'd actually get out of bed at like 8:10 but that's besides the point. I slept. I fell asleep fine. If I woke up, I'd just go back to bed no problem. No horrible dreams. Nothing. Furthermore, for someone so ungodly annoying and weird, I talked a lot. I had a small group at school, not that any of them actually actively wanted me around. But I never seemed to be far away from them. Cause that was boring. And as much as I didn't want to be alive and as much as I didn't deserve to be a protagonist, I still hated boredom. I also was an extreme extrovert so I needed to have people around me or I'd get upset or depressed or whatever. Ugh I hate myself so much.
I still haven't slept, just to clarify. I peak up to make sure no ones in my room watching, waiting to kill me. Good thing I have covers on or a demon might get me or whatever.
"Down times over. Time for group therapy!" Someone calls through the frail wall.
"Shit." I get up groggily and rub my eye.
So much for taking a nap.

BACK AND LIKE HALF ASLEEP SO
YEAH
WOLFIE