Love And Pain - Calibri X Suicidal! Abused! Reader

Part 8 - ...Interesting

(A lot of censored swears in this one. And blood. And feels.)

Your POV:

You awoke to the feeling of something really cold on your forehead. You slowly opened your eyes and quietly groaned. You saw a bag of frozen veggies on your head. You grabbed it with a shaky hand and took it off of your head. "What... the f××k... is this thinnnnnng?" You whispered. You looked around and you saw a mattress right next to yours. "Ugh. Please no." You said, mostly because nobody was even in the room. You heard people talking downstairs, so you went up to the door. You opened it a crack and listened.

"Lee? What a nice name." Papyrus complimented politely. "Thank you Papyrus!" Lee replied. "I like your hair! Can I braid it sometime?" Laurie asked excitedly. "I mean... sure! I think I'll look pretty with braids." Lee responded. You continued listening as Lee was showered in attention and bombarded with questions. You suddenly felt... alone. It suddenly seemed dark in the room. You went back to your mattress and rested your back on the wall.

'You're unwanted here.' A thought popped into your head. You clenched your teeth together and felt a few tears roll down both of your cheeks. You swiftly wiped them away and shook your head. 'No, I am still wanted here. I just need to go on a walk or something.' You thought to yourself. You turned and saw a curtain. 'Bingo.' You got up and opened the curtain. There was a window and a tree outside. 'I'll be back soon... they'll probably be too busy with Lee to notice anyways!' You thought to yourself. You opened the window without a sound and you jumped onto the tree. You calmly climbed down and looked around.

It's daytime, probably around noon. 'Man... how long did I sleep?' You pondered. You walked away from the house and looked back at the house. You shed a tear and walked away. Farther and farther... until you found yourself at the big door. You noticed that the door was open by a crack. Something was wrong. It seemed... empty and scary in there. "Asgore?" You called out and opened the door. There, sitting on the ground... was a pile of flour or something. Your eyes widened as you remembered a book you had read in Calibri's house.

"When monsters are killed or they die for some other reason, their body becomes a flour looking substance that is actually more of a grey color or a seemingly white color. It is referred to as 'dust'."

"A-Asgore!" You cried and stared at the dust that sat in a pile on the ground. "I will ruin whoever did this to you!" You wailed and noticed his clothes on the ground. You cried for a while more before shutting the door and heading back home. This only made you more stressed. 'Why would I tell the others?! It's not like they would care! They only care about Lee!' You thought to yourself as you climbed the tree. You jumped back into the room and closed the window without a sound.

Lee was still getting full attention as you grieved and your tears fell onto your clothes. 'Asgore...' Asgore was all you could think about. He helped you and Laurie. He allowed you to come back! You grabbed your knife from your backpack. 'No! Don't do it!' 'Nobody even cares about you. What do you have to lose? You already lost the first monster that maybe cared about you.' These thoughts came into your head. You exited the room and went into the bathroom.

Nobody noticed. You locked the bathroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror. 'You're just a dumb, ugly person. Use the knife like it should be used already.' You cried silently and sat down on the toilet cover. You pushed your sleeve up. You put the knife onto your arm. All of the awful memories came back into your head. You slightly pressed the knife down into your arm. You almost hissed from the pain, but you caught yourself and stayed silent. You grabbed a clean and tiny rag you found behind the mirror and put it onto the cut.

You felt hollow, like all the love you had gotten and given... had vanished. You shed a few tears and you put your opposite hand on your forehead. You remembered back to when you were sitting in the lunchroom in about 6th or 7th grade.