the two of us (NCT CHENSUNG)

(3)

/JISUNG/

For the longest time I was teased. By my own family. They knew I liked him. I was not very good at hiding it. Everytime he would walk into the same room I was in everyone would automatically look at me. I couldn't help it. I liked him too much.

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(Pizza place)

My brothers just had their very first competition of the season. Chenle wasn't there thankfully. I couldn't stand to be teased again. Mrs.Zhong did mention his basketball games a couple times and I would look down.
Sometimes I think to myself. Maybe if I was good at something. Just one thing. He might think to look at me. My mom tells me that I'm good at art. In reality I suck and because of this I now know why Chenle has never looked at me the way I look at him. I'm not good at anything. I have no talent. That's why.

It's been two years. I've liked Zhong Chenle for two years. The only time he's looked at me was at that party awhile ago. I've come to reality and realized that it will never happen. My good for nothing, ugly, pathetic self would never be able to be with him. It's IMPOSSIBLE.

Even though it's been two years and I really love him I'm going to stop. Starting now I will never think about him.

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I'm in the car thinking about this when I feel the car stop. I look up and see we are at a pizza place. It's a small brick building in the corner of a busy street. The whole competition team has decided to eat here after a busy weekend full of costume changes, stressful judging, awards, dancing, and even a member of the team braking her ankle.
We all need some food.

I get out of the car and hold Jaemins hand. We walk inside the building and see the whole team waiting for us.
I choose to sit next to one of the grandmas and Jaemin and Donghyuck decide to sit at the "kids" table.
I order a glass of lemonade and then take out my phone. I go onto Instagram and decide to unfollow Chenle. He had accepted my friend request and had even followed me back. Now that I have decided not to like him I will unfollow him. He doesn't need to have a stalker following him anymore. I've done enough to him over the past years.
I sigh and put my phone down. There's an empty seat in front of me. I look around. One family is missing. The Zhong family. I ask my mom, who is sitting on the other side of me, if Jeno and Mark are coming. She says yes. I gulp. Chenle better not come. Chenle better not come.
As I am one of the unluckiest humans alive, I hear a ring. It's the door. I look over and see the Zhongs walk in. I see Mrs and Mr.Zhong along with Mark and Jeno. I hold my breath as they walk in. I look behind them to see a tall boy with blonde hair. My eyes widen and I slam my face into the table quietly. I look over to them again and see Mr and Mrs Zhong sit over towards the end of our table. Mark decides to sit with the kids along with Jeno. There's only one seat left.
Right in front of me.
I look up again to see Chenle walk over. He takes a seat and smiles at me. I try to stay casual and smile back. I pick up my phone and open my music app. I grab my headphones and put on some one direction. I turn down my volume so I can still hear everyone talking.
I close my eyes to listen to the beat when I hear giggles. Nomin giggles to be exact. The best friends JaeMIN and JeNO. Everyone calls them that.
I look over once more and see them staring at me. They put their hands up to make heart shapes. They also make kissy faces. I glare and see Mark trying to tell them to stop as he can see I'm getting angry and embarrassed.

I look away from them and hide my face. Maybe if I sleep, I'll wake up and he will be gone. I was wrong.
The waiter comes over and asks for his drink. A coke. He asks for a coke. I bite my lip. I've never heard his voice before. It's been two years. His voice is actually very high pitched. Different from what I expected. Maybe he's going through puberty.

I try not to laugh when I hear a voice calling me. It's my mom. She's trying to get my attention. I snap out of my Chenle trance and look at her.
"Like I said what would you like to eat, he's waiting."
I haven't figured out what I want to eat yet. I look for a second at the menu and point to the first thing I see.
"I'll have that." I look at the waiter.
"Ok cheese tortellini it is." He smiles at me and walks to the next table. I look over to see Chenle on his phone. He's smiling. That's the smile I fell for. Wait! I'm not supposed to like him anymore.
Is it his girlfriend? Boyfriend? I wonder. I stare at him to try and read his face.
I think Chenle caught me staring at him because he looks back at me with a "can I help you" face. I quickly turn away and my face flushes.
I then eat my food and run to the restroom. When I get there I sit on the floor and bury my face in my hands. Why is he so perfect? Why am I so ugly and pathetic? Why is my life like this? Why can't I get over him?

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When we get home that night I change into my pajamas and fall onto my bed. I don't brush my teeth or take a shower. I could care less about hygiene right now.

It takes me a awhile to fall asleep and I'm thinking about him. I think about the one time on a holiday I spent the night with my cousin Taeyong and he and I added Chenle's Snapchat and he sent a picture of himself shirtless cause he didn't know who I was. I remember I flipped him off that night. I also remember a time when I went to another dance party at his house for the team. He stayed in his room upstairs but I went downstairs to the room that he was going to change to. He had his clothes already down there and I walked into his closet. I saw his track and basketball sweatshirts and held them up to me. They smelled like him. I remember his girlfriend coming over that night and they were in his room. Everyone thought they were having sex but I don't think they were, he is too young. The girl maybe, she is very much into that stuff as she was two years older than him. They broke up later though.
I remember all these memories as a tear falls. He will never be mine.
I'm pathetic.

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(and yes my cringey ass went through all this all that time ago)
This chapter is shorter than the first but as you can see I will try to upload every day this week. I'm on my spring break this week and I'm bored a lot so expect some chapters.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!