Keep My Heart- Prologue

Keep My Heart- 11

"I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed."

― Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby

Hey guys! I love this quote, it's from one of my favorite Sarah Dessen books, and I think it sort of fits. :)

Morning broke over Hawke's Vale like molasses in January. It was gentle, slow, and sweet. It had rained through the night and the foliage was frosted with glittering water droplets in the dawn's light. It was already a mirthful day, warm and promising. The servants were about, cooking breakfast for everyone, and singing hymns as they worked. It was just a happy day. Outdoors, butterflies and hummingbirds waltzed around, fluttering here and there.

But Adam had not slept all night. He kept picturing Olivia and how dependent she was becoming of him. She clung to him as if for dear life. She cried to him. And he loved how she pretended to be so strong, when she was nearing her point of complete and utter breakage. Even he saw this. He hated it, but something was coming alive in him. Sensations he had never recognized before were manifesting themselves in his actions. And why? He was coming to her rescue.

It was obvious that she was not quite over Rashleigh, but at least she ran to him, her husband. Last night, there had been a great deal of tension between them and he had felt it. It was the most penetrative, revolutionary thing. He had felt it vibrating in his bones and he knew she had also felt it. It had been written across her lovely, tearstained face.

Why had he gone away? He saw the same spark in her eyes.

He supposed it made him a little uncomfortable. Who wouldn't feel that way? When it came to Olivia, his heart was soft in ways he did not understand. It killed him that she still wanted Rashleigh, who had thrown her away like she was nothing.

That face: her stunning blue eyes, her beautiful, clear skin and her mouth. He loved everything about that face. He loved the way her forehead creased when she was contemplating something and he loved the way her skin gleamed with tears as she cried. Every feature was like magic and he found himself to be quite besotted with her.

Even though the day was new, he held onto a bit of a regret. Perhaps if he had stayed with her last night...if he had held her until she fell asleep. He wondered if she had slept last night. For her own health and sanity. He considered the events that had passed, and he abruptly admired her growing strength. True, her strength was quiet, and she did break, but any other person in the world would have already snapped. They would have gone completely off.

And in his life, he had known several women. The wives of friends, his own friends, and somewhere in his very, very young days, a lover. She had been a handful of a woman, even more so than Olivia was. But that hadn't lasted long and she was now seeing the governor of Massachusetts. For years, he had been without a woman. He had been a somber bachelor and had never questioned it. True, he had known that someday, he would have to find a woman he could be friends with, or perhaps he could fall in love. But that had not prevailed, and he married a ruined woman.

However, that was only how society saw her. Adam Hawke considered her entirely human. She had made mistakes, exactly like he had and he liked that she wasn't a perfect little dove.

He swiped his hand through his inky black hair, and popped his neck. Strong black coffee would do him a world of good, and hopefully, so would breakfast. Hot cakes drowned in syrup sounded like heaven. He was always hungry in the mornings, and especially this morning, seeing that he hadn't slept.

Rising, he went to his wash stand and doused his face in water. He dressed in black breeches and a white linen shirt, buttoned and tucked in. With skilled hands, he knotted his cravat in a simple fashion and slipped his shining leather boots on. If only life could be as simple as his morning routine. The relationship he shared with Olivia was like walking on broken glass; last night had been a startling rarity. He had come close to letting everything down. Adam knew that any happening would have been because her heart was broken. Certainly, he had considered laying all of his common sense down and allowing his emotions to rule. He could have taken advantage of the invitation in her eyes, although he knew she would hate him for it later.