Needing the Impossible (A Clato Fanfic)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Cato's POV

Making my way across the massive apartment, I try to move as stealthily as possible. Yet, I feel like every footsteps sends off some kind of alarm, alerting everyone else to my movements. It's early. Much too early to be up and moving around, but I have a lot on my mind and I've been awake for nearly an hour. No point in wasting the time in my crimson room. I hate the color anyway. I pass the table that has yet to be set for breakfast and make my way to a pair of sliding doors that open onto a small balcony some thirty feet off the ground. Even though there are two floors above-ground beneath us, they still label ours as the second floor, since the tributes from two always stay here.

I lean against the railing and look out at the horizon. I can just make out a lightening of the sky against the tall buildings that make up the Capitol skyline. It's not even six o'clock yet. The streets beneath me are dead, completely lacking in activity. I doubt more than a quarter of the population is even awake yet, much less out and about on the streets of the Capitol. The uncharacteristic silence of the city, the clean air, and the nice view all help me in my attempt to organize my thoughts – which mostly revolve around Clove.

Things aren't going well at all with her, something Brutus was keen to point out to me last night. If I don't start making progress soon, I'll not only be going into the arena with an extra enemy, but an enemy who knows all my strengths and weaknesses. At this point, Clove is a vulnerability. My biggest problem is in deciding whether to simply make her trust me, or attempt to toy with her emotions again. If I want to earn her trust, I should completely shove Diana away. If, however, I decide toying with her would be the best route, I should continue encouraging Diana to make Clove jealous. Honestly, though, I have no idea if her feelings for me were ever genuine, or if she was playing a game with me – just as I was with her.

My mind is still racing in endless circles when the Avoxes begin to prepare the tables for breakfast. I hear them, but make no move to acknowledge them, instead focusing on my pressing problems. I finally conclude that I should start by earning her trust. This will mean shoving Diana away, but I could care less about her. She was just good for my self esteem, and if I really want to make Clove jealous, I can just go for that Glimmer girl later on anyway.

Now comes the really hard part: how do I make Clove trust me without making myself vulnerable. It was easy enough before, when she had no solid reason not to trust me. But that kind of changed when I let Veronica try to kill her. I sigh in frustration as I realize just how messy this whole situation really is. Why did I ever bother to acknowledge her birthday? If I hadn't tried to go that extra mile – hadn't tried to wrap her around my finger that much more – none of this would have happened, and I would have Clove's trust.

The sky has lightened significantly and I can see a golden lining around the dark silhouettes of the distant buildings. I've been out here nearly an hour. Turning my head back over my shoulder, I see Brutus and Enobaria are already getting their food. I decide to end my torture and join them. There's no point in methodically planning how to earn Clove's trust, I'll just have to go with it like I did before. That will work better anyway. I hope.

I load my plate up with bacon, sausage, egg, and anything else that hints at containing protein. I then grab two apples and join our mentors at the table. We eat in silence, and Clove doesn't appear until I'm biting into my second apple. Even then, she just grabs a plate, throws some food on it, and disappears back into her room. Enobaria watches her movements, an aggravated expression plastered across her face, but makes no move to detain her. In fact, she stalls, giving Clove plenty of time to finish her breakfast, before she goes and orders Clove to come out. When she doesn't, Enobaria surprises me by calmly approaching one of the Avoxes and demanding for them to unlock the door. I expected her to yell and scream like she had last night.