Honey Lips

{twenty}

"Darlin', darlin', darlin'
I fall to pieces when I'm with you, I fall to pieces
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
And all of my peaches are ruined"

Gina and I sit at the table in complete silence. Last night she practically begged me to stay by her side, afraid of what my father might do if he wakes up. This is the closest the two of us have been since they exchanged their vows.

Gina grows pale with each passing second. She was tossing and turning in her sleep, clawing at the sheets and mumbling in the pillow. She is scared of my father. The honeymoon stage is dead and gone. And now, we just wait for my father to waltz in here with a raging hangover and more lies that seep from his lips.

A hand grabs mine under the acacia dining table. I steal a glance of Gina and watch as she bites her lips so hard, she draws blood. I reach over and pluck a napkin from the holder. She takes it and dabs the crimson liquid from her lip. Just then, the man we both love and fear, enters the room. He stumbles over his feet for a moment, then gains his composure and continues. He stops just before us; watching as Gina struggles to contain her tears, and I contain my anger. He's completely oblivious.

"You okay, dear?" He asks Gina while taking a step forward. Gina raises a shaky hand and dad pauses. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks to me for answers.

"Are you that oblivious?" I ask.

Dad looks taken aback. "What? I don't understand . . . did something happen?"

"Why did you do it?" Gina asks. The tears she's tried so hard to keep in, finally escaped.

"Do what?" Dad takes another step forward until Gina stops him, again. I can visually see dad becoming frustrated. "Lydia? What is going on?"

I scoff and shake my head. "I can't believe you." I mutter under my breath.

Dad slams his hand on the wooden table. Gina and I both jump in surprise. "Give me so goddamn answers!" He demanded.

"No! Don't come near me, you bastard!" Gina quaked as she scooted back in her chair. Our hands, that have separated, reconnect for comfort. "Don't come near me."

"I swear on your mother, Lydia. If I don't get some answers right now I'll—"

"You'll what? Hit me? Hit me like you did Gina?" I belted while standing up and approaching him. Dad looked absolutely appalled at my words, but not surprised. "Is that what you do now? Huh? Hit women when they disrespect you or get too close to the truth?"

Dad smiles and shakes his head. "You two are crazy. Absolutely mad. To think, I'd hit a women?" His voice raises an octave, an indicator of his lies. He moves to one side of the kitchen island and makes a move to grab the bottle of Jack Daniels. But I'm faster. I grab the bottle and hide it behind my back. My father goes from baffled to furious in the blink of an eye. He reaches behind my back for the bottle but I move to the side.

"Give me that!" He bellows, reaching behind my back again. I move once more. The third time he reaches for his holy grail, I bring it beside me, and with all my determination, throw it to the ground. My dad screams at me while the liquid courage breaks and decorates the white marble floor. "Fuck!"

As if he couldn't get anymore enraged, a painful squeeze to my forearm made me snap out of whatever trance I was held in. I look to the hand, then to the body that belonged to the hand. My dads fingernails dig into my skin. I don't think i've ever seen him so mad in my life. The way he looking at me in utter disgust and disappointment. It's scary. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Gina separates the two of us. While my eyes are big and fearful, Gina has had enough. "Get out!" She exclaimed. "Get the fuck out, Nathaniel!"

Dad looks between the two of us. "Fine!" He says while moving around us, keeping his death stare on Gina and I. He grabs his work bag, iPhone and the keys to his Jeep. At that moment, he gives us one last glare, then exits the house. But not before slamming the front door, making the picture frame beside the door falls to the floor and break just as both our hearts did. The picture of our family—one with mom. Once happy, carefree faces have become permanent frowns with tear stained faces.

"I don't understand," I whimper through tears. Gina rubs my back and pulls me into her chest. We both crumple to the floor and cry in each others embrace.

"First mom, then Daniel, now him?!" Tilting my head upwards, I look at Gina with blurry vision. "Gina, what is happening to our family?"

She sighs and stares at me with an unreadable expression. Touching my face gently, she wipes away the tears that have stained my cheeks. "I don't know, Lydia. I don't know."

♪ — Cherry by Lana Del Rey