P.S. I Love You. [E.G.D]

Chapter 30

We both stepped off the bus, me with a noticeable spring in my step.
"Come on, slow ass" I giggled while skipping further in front of him. Today was gonna be a good day. I could feel it from head to toe.
"She didn't change one bit" he mumbled, while smiling admiringly. I don't think he was actually talking to me, so I didn't respond and carried on skipping.

We soon approached my modern apartment. I stopped and leaned the mailbox and his jaw dropped. I smirked.
"Are you for real?" He asked, gobsmacked that I could own such a beautiful apartment.
"As real as the eyebrows on your forehead boi." I replied, smirking as I strode into the house.
Ethan shuffled behind me, still in shock.

I calmly set my things down on the kitchen counter, before realising how drenched I got in the rain and my broken umbrella didn't shelter us whatsoever. I saw how Ethan was just standing there, soaking, unsure what to do.
"You, come upstairs." I instructed while taking my shoes off, leaving my feet in while trainer socks. I leaped up the stairs, Ethan doing the same behind me.

//Ethan//
This girl didn't change one bit. She's still my Kendall. Still the girl I fell in love with.
And fucktrumpet her house is 100x better than mine, I didn't even know jersey had houses like this at all, and yet there was one on the next street to me.
I was so scared she would slip from society and seclude herself from everything, just like when Grayson left. But if anything, she self-improved without me.
She opened the door to her room, the sweet smell of it triggering so many memories and emotions. It smells just like her room in her old house; it never smelt of perfume or air-freshener, it just smelt like Kendall-a sweet vanilla scent was the closest way to describe it. But it was amazing. It sounds weird and really is, but whenever she was in the shower, I would dunk my head into her sheets and sniff the shit out of it, it was like a fucking drug.
I looked around and it was arranged basically the same as before, but, the shrine of me was taken down, my little closet was gone, and my dresser, and all my football posters were replaced with bare wall. Anything to do with me was gone.
"Come," she said while pulling my arm into her walk-in closet.
I stood in the middle of it, lowkey scanning it for lingerie but I knew they would be in a drawer or something. She, however, rummaged around a section for tops, before pulling out a familiar orange top. She then made her way to the pants and pulled out some grey tracksuit bottoms.
"Here, change into that, you're drenched. Plus, that's your top, I thought it looked cute as an oversized top, and it was, but you can have it back. You can also change in my room because I'm gonna go have a shower now." She smiled sweetly before guiding me out of her wardrobe and into her room. Awh, she still kept some of my clothes.

She grabbed a towel and waltzed into the bathroom, flashing me a gorgeous smile just before she shut the door.
I shakily exhaled.
I'm so fucking whipped it's embarrassing.

I turned around and looked at her room. Curiosity soon took over me and I sat on the side of her bed, next to her bedside table.

Come on, I haven't seen her in two years, imagine how much I missed out on, she would've told me everything anyway, she never hides anything from me, I'm sure she wouldn't mind. It's just me.
I pulled on the handle and looked in, to see a bundle of papers, some crumpled then seemed to have been desperately spread back out again. I glanced over them, instantly recognising my horrible handwriting.

She kept all those letters.
I looked at a couple, and the ink had been smudged in the shape of a splash, as if she had been crying on them. My heart was slowly crippling. I put the letters back carefully and saw a little book that was underneath them. This must be her diary.
I whimpered at the very first sentence in the book.
'God, you've failed me yet again.'
Tears welled up in my eyes as every phrase my eyes landed on was filled with sadness, anxiety, and depression.
'I lost my appetite since the day he left'
'I'm a fucking waste of space'
'I just don't wanna be here anymore'
'He left me for a reason'
'I just wanna smash the mirror every time I look at myself, I'm disgusting.'