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YDW;
________He didn't get any sleep. He's been up the whole night. The answer never came to Dowoon, and it's driving him crazy. He doesn't want to be confused anymore. He just wants to know what it is, straight up. Dowoon didn't want this at all.
He got up and went to the window and just watched as the birds perched themselves on the tree near his house."I want to be like you guys. You guys don't have to think much do you? You guys aren't confused and lost 24/7. You guys don't stress each other out. I just want to be like you guys" he said as he watched the birds fly off.
Dowoon wishes he was like them. Carefree and wild. But, reality breaks everything. His life is a whole mess. But he felt like he could try and make it better. He wants to change everything. He doesn't want to be held down by this one feeling. The feeling that he can't trust Wonpil. He just wants to throw it out and try and trust Wonpil. He ran his hands through his hair and went off to freshen himself.
As soon as he came back, he got his keys and his sneakers and left the house. He made his way to the diner, as always, until something or someone caught his eye. Wonpil.
He was about to go to him until he saw someone with Wonpil. It was a girl.
He watched as Wonpil wrapped his arms around the girl and the girl gave him a kiss on the lips. At that moment, Dowoon's world came crashing down. That was the answer he's been asking for. It hit harder then a Boulder.
He has a girlfriend.
He played you.
He lied.
A sad smile was soon painted on Dowoon's face as he turned around and walked away. Tears found its way to Dowoon's eyes as he continued his journey home. He's had enough of Wonpil's games. He knew now. Wonpil never loved him. The sad truth was too much for him, but he saw it for himself. Dowoon heard his name being called from the distance and it only belonged to one voice. Wonpil.
"Dowoon! Wait slow down" dowoon didn't or slow down. In fact, he picked up his pace and went faster. It didn't work though. Wonpil caught him. He grabbed Dowoon's hand and looked him in the face to see him crying.
"Dowoon. What wrong?"
"Do you even fucking care?"
"Dowoon I do care. That's why I want to know"
"Is that one of your other lies? Your so fucking dense Wonpil! Stop pretending and just be honest with me! I don't want your pity!"
"Dowoon I'm not pitying you. I'm not pretending either. What's going on?"
"You! Your what's wrong Wonpil! I can't do this anymore! I tried to fucking trust you. But something was holding me back. I wanted to know what it was so bad. I stayed up all night just so I can find out the answer, but I didn't. Instead, I wanted to just forget it and try and trust you. But the answer hit me just in time."
"Dowoon what in hell are you talking about?"
"I saw you with your girlfriend Wonpil" at that Wonpil froze up for a few seconds.
"Dowoon—"
"I don't want to hear it. My question is, why did you lie to me? Do you really find joy out of it? You already did it before, but I thought once was enough."
"Dowoon I didn't lie to you."
KWP;
_________Wonpil looked at Dowoon with an serious expression, but inside, he had emotions on top of emotions. He can't loose Dowoon. He screwed up.
"Wonpil just stop fucking playing games with me!"
"I'm not playing games with you! Just fucking listen!"
"I don't know if I should Wonpil. I don't know"
"Listen, I don't like her. I just like you, I fucking promise you when I say that. I'm breaking up with her soon"
"So did you play her too? Wonpil you think if you say that, I'll just go back to you like that? Your so fucking aggravating. I'm not some damn game Wonpil. You go from her to me in seconds. The worst part about all of this is, You fucking cheated on her!"
"Dowoon"
"You fucking cheated. How would she feel? This is why I can't trust you Wonpil. I don't know whether your lying or not. You confuse me so much and I hate it. The worst part it, I can't forget you. I want to forget you so much but I can't. Because I'm stupid!"
"Your not stupid. I am. I'm sorry"
"Sorry can't always fix things. You can't fix a broken plate by saying sorry to it. Because in the end, it's not fixed and you would just move on to a next one."
"The thing is, I wouldn't move on. Dowoon I fucking love you so much. I don't mean to hurt you I swear—"
"But you did and you always do. I always expect something to be different with you. But it's always the same. You offend me, you come back and cover it up with your lies and then I fall for it. Only to have the cycle repeat again"
"Their not lies. Everything I've said to you was the truth Dowoon. I don't mean to hurt you but your right. It keeps happening. I always screw up something but I don't try to cover it up with lies. It's just the truth. I'm just trying to be honest with you. Fuck, the fact that I just messed up everything already had me hating myself but Dowoon, please just listen to me when I say I love you."
"I'm just going to leave, because I'll end up believing you.." and with that, Dowoon pulled his arm away from Wonpil's grasp and walked off.
"Dowoon!" The boy didn't turn around. He just continued to walk off. Wonpil proceeded to call after him only to be ignored. Soon enough, Dowoon was out of his sight. Wonpil ran his hand through his hair as tears fell from his eyes. Wonpil cursed himself as he walked down the sidewalk that didn't seem as bright anymore. In fact, nothing was as bright anymore as it used to. He messed everything up. He lost Dowoon. He hurt Dowoon and made him cry. That's something he couldn't ever forgive himself for.
"I told myself I'd protect you, and make you feel safe. I did the exact opposite. I'm such a fucking idiot. I don't even deserve you. You don't deserve something like me. You deserve better than me. But I want to be with you. I love you so much. But I messed up" Wonpil cried even more and he felt like he couldn't breathe. But he didn't care. He hated himself for ruining everything.
"I'm sorry. For everything."
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𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 {𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦!}
Fanfiction•Good bye. ever since you've left, I've been frozen up inside•