Breaking Boundaries

Chapter 37 - Different ways.

What I'm about to say needs to be said. I can't control myself. I can't stop myself. I need her in my life and I need her to want me. I want her to want me. To want us. I've never felt the things I feel for her, I've never told anyone my sexual fantasies, I've never WANTED to be with someone for the rest of my life before. But I do, oh man, I do. I want her, I want all of her. Every single broken piece of her. I want it all. This can go either way but I'm not holding back anymore. I need her to want me to so that we can figure it all out together. 

"What Hunter? come on. I want you..." she demands. So I just let it out. 

"I love you." 

***********

I'm not sure if I just heard him correctly. 

I'm lay in front of him with my legs wide open waiting for him to pound me. 

Then I hear it. 

I'm sure I heard it. 

"What?" I whisper. 

"Don't make me say it again please, it's taken me long enough to get those words out."

"I need you to repeat it."  And I do. I need to hear it again. 

He starts lifting up as if he's about to continue with what we were about to do before he said he loved me. 

"No Hunter.. say it."

"I love you."

And there it was, he said it. Clear, loud.. Loud enough for me to understand.

The room starts spinning on me, I can't deal with this. 

How can he love me? How can anyone love me?

Not to mention the fact that he's getting married to my mother?

"Is that what you wanted to hear? because you look like I just told you to get out?"

I do, I look terrified maybe? shocked? I don't know but this isn't what I ever expected from him.. a man like him. 

"You don't love me, Hunter." I whisper.

"I don't love you? Don't tell me what I fucking feel."

His voice is angered, pained almost.

He's right I can't tell him what he feels but I'm more worried about my heart getting cracked once again. How do I know its true? How does he know its real?

I can't control myself around these men.
I feel for all three of them in different ways.
They all give me something different.
Hunter is my safe place.
Hunter's faithful.
He would never hurt me.
But then again..

Hunter's my Mothers fiancé.

"Lady, look at me!" He shouts as I turn my eyes away from him. Choking obvious built up tears. I'm still lay on my back, he's between my legs.

I've never felt so naked, so vulnerable.

I look at him, of course I look at him. He drives me insane and makes my heart skip a beat all at the same time.
He's the man of my dreams and he's just told me he loves me?

"Don't!!" He warns.

"Don't what?" I whisper in reply.

"I know you're thinking no one could love you, I know your confidence is battered. Just let me show you, baby?"

His voice suddenly lowers, softens.
I'm so sore, everywhere.
Yet all I want is for him to give me a tonne of pain all over again.

Am I crazy?
Am I deluded?