Johanna's Confessions

Chapter 7 Day 6

The morning sun shone through the window next to my bed, bars were laid across the windows to prevent jumpers. Never the less the sun still was a bright as ever. I swung  my legs over the side of the bed, still in my sweater from last night.  I grabbed a dark colored v-neck and a pair of blue skinny jeans. Sitting back down on the bed, I think about last night.

I traced Marc's scars with my finger staring from the top of his arm and going to his wrist. He doesn't flinch. I look back into his eyes, and his takes my arms into his hands, looking at my stitches.

"Why?" he asks, quietly almost like a whisper.

I look back into his eyes, and softly pull my arms away. I slide my sleeves down covering my past, "I wanted to die. I guess I didn't do it right."

He shifts himself so he is leaning against the wall. I move and lay back against him, putting his arms around me. We sit there for a long time, just like the hug it felt like forever.

"Johanna, it's time to go." Nurse Blue says interrupting my day dream about last night. I just sit there on my bed staring, when I realize she was still standing there waiting for me. I get up and move slowly towards the door. Once in the day room I get my vitals checked, and they say my blood pressure is down. Oh well.

After breakfast is over, I go to the day room and work on homework. I wonder if any one has noticed I'm gone. I mean, I have 'Friends' I just- Idon't think they care about me. I think what I miss most is my drawings, its what kept me for so long. 

Today it's Monday, so parents are allowed to visit openly, visiting days are on Mondays and Wednesdays. I don't think my parents would come, they don't want to see their 'perfect little girl' in the nut house.

Breaking away from the thresh holds of my own mind I notice Marc walking into the day room with a woman and a man. They must be his parents. His mom has the same black hair as Marc, and his dad has those same hazel eyes. Marc's father looks like he would rather be any where else but here, and his mother is on the verge of tears. Marc just looks like he is in pain.

London's mom showed up, the woman looking more like a young party goer. Pink yoga pants and a tank top two sizes too small. London seems to be having a good time with her mother, even though the woman looks like a monster. As London gives her a hug good bye I see her mom pull out a pack getting ready for a smoke. Probably the reason London got hooked. Mama gave her the goods.

After visiting hours are over, it's then time for lunch. I walk down the cold corridors with London at my side. "Was that your mom?"  i ask looking down at my socks (we aren't allowed to wear shoes).

She chuckles a little bit and then looks at her pink finger nails, "Jealous? Naw, i'm just kidding. Yeah that was my lousy excuse for a mother. She's more like my best friend, we share stashes and cigarettes. It's a pretty sweet set up."

I nod in agreement our conversation stopping as we enter the door to the cafeteria. My mother would never share anything with me, she hardly even looks at me. I'm like a puppy she didn't want. Me begging for attention and her just shooing me away with a flick of her hand.

Grabbing my tray like a robot I fill up my tray with food. Looking down I see the disgusting calorie filled slice of pizza. I'll try to drag it out, so I don't have to eat it. Maybe London can cover for me so I can head to the bathroom. London has already attacked her pizza as I snap out of my own mind. Marc is picking at his pizza and then look sat me.

"I know what your thinking. Just take a bit and eat it slowly. Eat half and then every thing else on the tray. Than say your full." I nod at him and do as he says, talking a few bits of pizza and than eating my carrots and jello.