secrets ; gawsten

59. white lighter

my white lighter running low on fluid, soon it won't ignite anymore. smoke a pack a day, when i used to smoke a cigarette a month. looked back on my life and asked how i got to where i am, how i let one boy hurt me to no end. how i let all my happiness revolve around someone who has only ever caused me pain. but it wasn't always like that, we used to laugh and wake up in each other's arms. sneak a kiss in before you had to leave with your mom and act like our nights together never happened. when you would sit there at your desk with your sleeve pulled over your hand and your hair in your face. i saw an innocent boy, someone who could never hurt me. truth was i hurt you, i degraded you until you felt worthless. but you returned the favor. leaving me high and dry. leaving me with a stomach full of pills because i never wanted to disappoint you. don't worry you came back. you left me for megan but you came back. you loved me again, but you left me for her again. so that is why i sit here with my back against the wall, with a cigarette in my mouth trying to get my white lighter to work.

~awsten ;(

sadly my best friend knows who this chapter is about...
y'all all these chapters are based on someone who i will never give the identity of. just know i write about this girl in the pov of awsten and she is geoff. im giving you an insight into my mind.