Bittersweet Memories

Chapter 9

"No... No...! NO!"

Hiccup bolted upright. Sweating all over, eyes wide and a hand outstretched. He sat there in the dark for a long time, frozen with fear.

Another nightmare. He was having them every day now and they were becoming more intense, but still he hadn't a clue what they were about. All he knew was that he didn't want something to happen and he was unable to stop it.

His mum wasn't aware he was having these dreams and he had decided he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want to burden her with any more of his problems. Good job she was away right now else he was sure to have woken her. He had cried out pretty loudly.

Breathing heavily, he pulled his knees into his chest and gently rocked back and forth.

Toothless had stirred. He stretched himself awake and came over to check on his rider.

"What's happening to me, bud?" he asked as he petted his dragon.

Toothless nuzzled him. He didn't like to see Hiccup so upset and wished he could do more to help.

It was the middle of the night. Everyone else was still tucked up soundly in their beds, yet Hiccup didn't feel like going back to sleep. He was fearful that if he did he may experience another one of those dreams. He had had two of them yesterday. To keep himself awake, he reached over for the book of "Boulard the Brave" resting on his bedside cabinet and placed it against his chest. It was an infantile thing to do and he felt a little foolish but he didn't really care right now. It comforted him. It reminded him of her soothing voice and the love she had for him. It surprised him when he realised just how much he loved her too.

He stayed like that all the rest of the night, watching the sky gradually grow lighter and listening to the village coming to life.

After some time there was a knock at the door.

He knew it must be Astrid. They had planned to spend the day together and she was going to call for him. They had been officially back together for about four weeks now and this was to be their first all-day date.

She was great: she was being so patient with him and happy to take things at his pace. He knew none of this had been easy for her to bear. He was so appreciative and found he only loved her all the more for it.

He put the book down and ran down the stairs to let her in.

"Are you nearly ready? I've made us some lunch as I said I would and I've even brought some yaknog..." She stopped as she took in his complexion. "Are you alright, Hiccup? You look awful."

He did. His skin was grey and bags lay under his eyes. It wasn't just last night he hadn't slept well, he hadn't slept properly for a week and he was bushed.

"It's nothing. I'm okay."

"It's not nothing. Something's bothering you, I can tell."

"I told you, it's nothing!"

Hiccup instantly felt guilty, he hadn't meant to snap at her. He'd been doing that a lot lately with everyone. It felt like something was slowly pressing in on him, but it wasn't her fault and she hadn't deserved that.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a bit tired that's all. I didn't sleep very well last night."

Astrid thought back to a few months ago before his accident. He wasn't sleeping well then either and things were bothering him but he wouldn't open up. She gave him a hard stare. She wasn't going to let it go. Oh no, not this time.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing much, honest." He could see she wasn't going to accept this weak response. Sighing, he added, "I've only been having dreams... if you can even call them that."