Will I Ever Matter To You?//Ianthony

Chapter 11: Realization

AUTHOR'S P.O.V.

"IAN!" Anthony screams, shaking him, trying to make him wake up. But sadly, Ian is still passed out. Anthony, not knowing what to do, picks Ian up and runs into the diner. "Someone please help!" He yells. Before he knows it, the paramedics and an ambulance are there. Luckily, the paramedics let Anthony ride in the ambulance with them. 

ANTHONY'S P.O.V.

Why did Ian pass out? It was just....all of a sudden...he was on the ground. Wait....maybe Mari knows why Ian passed out! Maybe that's what she texted me! I pull my phone out of my pocket. It reads: "During Game Bang, when David lifted Ian up, his shirt went up a bit and.....I could literally see his ribs. As if he hasn't eaten anything since the dinosaur ages. I don't know what that means...but maybe you do. I'm probably freaking out about this more than I should...right?" I swear, I almost dropped my phone. That-that can't be true...can it? I start to lift Ian's shirt. My eyes widen at the sight. It's all true. He's basically a stick. But....I made him eat....did he...? No, I don't know that for sure and I won't believe it. Ian wouldn't ever.....right? I know him well, or do I? I don't know what to believe anymore...

-1 HOUR LATER-

I let my head hang low. I've run out of tears, so I'm just sitting here, in this uncomfortable white chair, breathing unsteadily. I can't believe it. Ian did this to himself. I don't get it. He's perfect, why would he ever want to change that? Damn these thoughts. What the hell could they mean? I've never had so many thoughts about him. I mean...what if he's dead? No, don't think that Anthony. He'll be fine. But...will Ian? I sigh and look up to see the doctor. I shot out of my seat. "Is Ian going to be okay?" I ask immediately. "Well, since Mr. Hecox hasn't been eating and since he has been making himself throw up......He's very lucky to be alive," The doctor tells me. "Thank god," I say, before sighing in relief. "But," My smile fades as he says that one word. "As much as I hate to tell you, Ian does have a chance of dying." I fought back the tears that were forming in my eyes. "Can I see him?" I question. "Not today, tomorrow you can," He answers. "Well....thank you, anyways," I say. The doctor nods before leaving. I guess I should leave too. I can't bare to see Ian anyways. All, wired up and....I just can't. I start walking out of the hospital, my head still hanging low. Ian....

AUTHOR'S P.O.V.

Anthony had to walk to the diner to get his car and then drive home. He did it all while thinking about Ian constantly. He tried to shake the thoughts off but it didn't work. His mind was full of nothing but Ian. His eyes, his hair, his humour, everything to do with Ian. When Anthony got home, he went into the bathroom. He turns on the sink and splashes some ice cold water on his face. What the hell am I thinking? I don't like Ian that way.... Anthony thinks, splashing more water on his face. Nothing. The only thing that helped with was his hygiene. With the same thought in mind, he remembers some of the old smosh videos they made together. But one particular one was in mind. WORST RAP BATTLE EVER (Lunchtime w/ Smosh). There is one scene that keeps replaying in Anthony's mind. The staring contest that they had. Anthony got a sudden urge to go back in the past and fill the gap between their lips. "I can't...possibly....can I?" Anthony thinks out loud.

-AFTER A LOT OF THINKING-

(A/N) Once again, read this paragraph slowly. It will have more effect, blah, blah, blah, blah...Okay, back to the story!

ANTHONY'S P.O.V.

That's it. I can't deny it anymore. I love Ian Andrew Hecox. There's nothing else to it. All those times, I had those thoughts about Ian....I just shrugged them off like it was nothing. But it isn't nothing. I love him. It all makes sense now! Why was I so goddamn jealous when Ian was dancing with David? Because I love Ian. Why do I have all these gay thoughts about Ian all the time? Because I love Ian. Why I got over Kalel so quickly? I sigh and grin to myself. Because I love Ian fucking Hecox. My smile quickly fades though. I bury my face into my hands. There's just one problem....I love Ian Hecox..... and I might never be able to tell him.