A beautiful feeling called... LOVE...

I miss myself...

Here I sit by the river,
And as tears roll down from my eyes,
They make the sweet water a bit salty.
I dont know the reason or the reason is known but I don't wanna show,
May be I miss something which should not be missed,
Maybe there is a space that I don't want to fill.
I know I have some pin in my heart which no one can see,
I know the moments have passed and never will it it be the same,
I accept that every moment reminds me of the moments that we had spent together and now looking at others, the grass looks so green.
My heart seeps into melancholy but I hide my tears, coz I know I can't waste my tears on someone who won't understand and the people who understand my pain and sorrows don't want to see those tears...
If they want tears in my eyes, it should be only of joy,
Coz I should be happy that you left...
I know it is wrong to be happy when someone leaves but you proved that we were never meant to be,
I had given my all to bring us together and somewhere in that US I had lost who I was.
I was just not the real me when I was with you, I had changed, you had changed me,
And when people said that I had changed, I ignored it, I never used to ignore...
When times were tough, I stopd by your side knowing you too would do the same for me, I was wrong or fid I expect too much...
I could never understand what died inside me, my heart that loved or my soul that trusted or my freaking brain that thinks a lot, but something did...
And it had left a deep hollow space in my very existence which will take a load more than just a few happy memories to fill in...

But you know what, I still have people who care and who are ready to give there all just to see me smile, they would just cross heaps and bounds to make things right for me and all they expect in return is my happiness...

The worst part is, it's hard for me,

Hard for me to smile and stay happy, though I do smile just to value their efforts, I know alone that how I feel, thwy do have hints of the storms I hide within but they too don't say, just so that I don't miss what I do...
I do, I do miss you...
And even more than you, I miss myself.. the happy me...