Depression ~Michael Clifford

-25-

"What happened in here?"

Ashton was met by silence. Awkward glances were exchanged between the three bandmates who were involved and suddenly Calum blurted it out "Me and Luke were making out!"

The tanned boy turned scarlet the moment the words left his lips and stuffed his face into Luke's muscular chest in a weak attempt to hide from the embarrassment. Ashton tried to keep his face neutral but the shock was still apparent on his face. The drummer took a moment to process the new information before speaking once again.

"I'm still confused... If you were making out, what's Michael doing here?" Michael's heart stung a bit from the feeling that no one wanted him there even though that was far from Ashton's intention. Since Michael was still incapable of speaking and Calum was cuddled into the singers chest so Luke took the liberty of answering this one."Well, me and Calum were...busy so we didn't notice Michael walking into the room until he broke the vase."

Ashton's attention shifted to Michael who just seemed lost on the couch,staring at the shards from the once beautiful vase. "Michael, you doing okay there babe?" Michael inhaled sharply when he heard his name"I'm sorry"  he whispered,eyes still trained on the floor by the remainder of the vase. 

They all shared a frown at the unexpected apology "you gotta stop apologising Michael." The guitarist's eyes never left the floor as he spoke "i'm s-" Luke interrupted him before he could finish" No. You don't have anything to apologise for Michael." He didn't bother replying and just gave a solemn nod in understanding.

Calum was extremely uncomfortable right now, usually when it was awkward he'd just take his clothes off but that would only increase the awkwardness and sexual tension floating in the air. So he decided to change the subject completely instead.

"soooooo, we headed to the beach today or what?" He tried to give off a confident smirk but turned out more like a grimace of sorts. Michael turned rigid at the sentence, he had forgotten all about their beach outing.

"Oh yeah, i totally forgot about that thanks Calum! I'll go make breakfast and pack us some lunch to bring. Sound good?" Michael knew the question was directed at him but he couldn't be bothered to answer it, too caught up in the devilish thoughts swimming around in his head and drowning all of his happiness in the deep dark ocean known as depression.

He managed to drag himself up to their room for a quick change of clothing since he was still in pajamas. He changed into a baggy sweatshirt and a pair of jeans that were slightly baggy partly because of his weight loss but they were also meant to be a little looser since he was very uncomfortable wearing anything skin tight since the constant voice in his head wouldn't stop commenting about the jiggle when he walked or how his thighs were the size of Texas.

Slowly Michael made his way downstairs and slumped into one of the six chairs by the dinner table, making all of the others instantly know what kind of mood Michael was in. While the guitarist was sat silently sulking over the fact that he had to go outside a plate of eggs and toast were presented in front of him making his day that much worse.

They weren't even boiled eggs but scrambled which meant a ton of butter adding to the already high calorie count. Michael took a deep breath,trying to convince himself that he can do this and that it'll be fine. He's fast to be proven wrong though since the guitarist finds himself trying to guilt Ashton into letting him skip breakfast after only a few minutes.

"Lunch basically consists of all different types of fruit, you'll need some protein to get through an entire day out in the sun." Ashton's words were caring but strict so Michael knew right away that he wouldn't have a choice but to consume the calorie packed breakfast.

As if Michael didn't feel bad enough already he could feel his soft tummy getting bloated by the time they were headed to the beach after his quite heavy breakfast. He was wearing a basic T-shirt and some sweatpants that were cut off at the knee,giving off some kind of makeshift shorts vibe and the insecure boy was more than uncomfortable with this outfit,tons of bracelets were covering his scarred arms and his pale fat legs were on display for the world to see.

He had tried leaving their house with some sweatpants and  thin long sleeved shirt but the boys wouldn't let him. They were afraid of Michael overheating but they also wanted to show Michael that there was nothing bad about showing your body and that confidence is key to getting over his body complex. 

By the time they had found a parking space by the beach Michael was ready to head home. He had already seen at least six men going around shirtless,showing off their toned body and six packs. It didn't make him feel any better that all of his company also had the perfect beach body.

Michael threw on a sweatshirt that he snuck into the car without the knowledge of the band and put on a pair of sunglasses as well to try and hide not only his ugly face from the general public but also to shield his teary and red puffy eyes from the prying eyes of his best friends. Once they had found a small place to put down their blanket which contained both sunlight and some shade by a nearby tree the three fit band members decided to get in some tanning action and stripped down to their bathing suits. 

Michel was quite content sitting in the shadow though, silently creeping on his best friends amazing bodies and for a minute he forgot all about the other people there and just focused on his best friends. That was until Michael saw a group of girls walking by,not so subtly gawking at three out of four members of the band,giggling probably to gain the attention of any tanning boy, But Michael couldn't help but feel  like they were all laughing at him.

There he was literally overshadowed by his great lookin friends and Michael couldn't stand the self hate that the beach was inflicting on him so he got up and ran to the nearest bathroom stall hoping to get away from all kinds of human interaction at least in order to collect himself a little before heading back out into the hell hole.

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Hi.... *Pretends to not have disappeared for like two weeks* How are you all? Good I hope :)

Sorry for this really shitty chapter but my eyes are closing by themselves at this point I'm that tired so idek what this chapter is about,oops.

I've started rewatching grey's anatomy if anyone's interested xD What's your favorite TV show? I need something to watch :)

Please leave a vote and comment because it makes me very happy ;P

Can we get this to 4 votes?