Depression ~Michael Clifford

-26-

It was surprising how often Michael found himself crying in a toilet stall. Whether it was a restaurant,hotel lobby or in this case some shaggy toilets by the beach he always found himself locked away in there looking for some sort of privacy in the very public life he was living.

It didn't take long before someone showed up since they all kept a very close eye on the guitarist. Michael's first thought was that Ashton was going to come running so it came as a surprise when Calum showed up outside of his locked stall asking to enter.

Calum threatened to crawl under the door after a while which made Michael begrudgingly open the swamp green door. Michael grew confused though as Calum didn't drag him out of the small cubicle but instead joining him and once again locking the door.

As confused as this made Michael, the guitarist was very pleased with these actions and now he didn't have to worry about someone else happening to walk into their private chat. The door also sort of worked as a shield against the outer world for Michael as well so when it was closed and locked he felt much safer and less in public.

"Why'd you run?" It was unusual with Calum using such a gentle voice but Michael couldn't deny the fact that it sounded fucking good,despite his depressed state he could feel something awakening in his neither regions with the proximity of Cal as well as the soft caring voice he now possesed.

The blonde quickly took a step back to give himself some space to calm his horny teenage mind, hopefully without Calum noticing. When he realised he was yet to answer the caramel skinned boy his mind started working again, trying to figure out a way to sound his insecurities without sounding like a crybaby.

"I-I got so hot so I went looking for water" Michael knew straight away that he wouldn't escape anyones worries with that excuse, especially since not one person in the world would be stupid enough to actually buy that lie. Calum certainly didn't. He started laughing his ass off which probably confused the bystanders since toilet visits aren't usually that funny.

"I'm sorry Michael, I don't mean to laugh but... that was probably the worst lie ever told."

Michael couldn't exactly laugh in the mindset he was in right now but he did let out a snort of amusement which caused Calum to finally stop laughing. "I'm serious though babe, what happened?" Michael let out a sad whine,he really didn't want to say the real reason behind his freak out, it was too embarrassing. Calum didn't let up though so eventually Michael caved.

"Fine. These girls were laughing at me and I didn't like it... made me feel kinda worthless I guess."

The maori boy raised an eyebrow as he spoke" I'm sorry they made you feel that way Michael but I think you misinterpreted the situation completely."

"What do you mean? they were all giggling and looking at me. They were obviously laughing at my body." The guitarist looked to the floor and fiddled with his fingers. It stopped however when Calum stepped forward and grabbed them in his own.

"Michael, to start off you have an amazing body. And secondly those girls weren't making fun of you they actually came up to us after you ran away and asked if you were okay. They liked you."

the green eyes rose from the floor in surprise. "What?" Calum chuckled and pulled Michael in for a quick hug "They liked you. One purple haired in particularly, she actually asked for your number." to say Michael was shocked would be an understatement. How in the actual fuck did anyone look at his fat ass and like it??

"What?" he whispered under his breath. He wasn't sure what to think of himself at this moment, was he actually likeable? his mind quickly reminded him that he wasn't though and sure enough he was back in the slump of depression.

"Yeah, they're probably still out there with Ashton and Luke. Want to go say hi?" Calum said while turning to leave the stall. He was quickly turned back around by a panicking Michael who was furiously shaking his head in a disagreeing manner.

"NO, no no we can't."

Calum was stumped. He seemed so happy that they actually liked him so why wouldn't he want to talk to them? or even take that girls number. "Why don't you want to meet them? I'm sure they'll like you if that's what you're worried about."

But that wasn't the biggest of Michael's concern, it was one of the very many reasons but the main one was that he was afraid that he would lead the girl on. He didn't want to date at the moment since he was still not over his band members and another fact being him not liking girls that way. At all.

He didn't really want to reveal his sexuality in a toilet booth by the beach(or at all) even though everyone already knew even if Michael wasn't aware that they did. So he just said that he didn't feel comfortable right now with being exposed like that especially since there were several girls and he would probably feel crowded and he already knew it wouldn't go great.

So after a few more minutes of hiding in the "bathroom" Calum agreed to go home so Michael snuck out and walked directly to the car while Calum went to gather the stuff plus the rest of the band and meet him at the car.

Michael was so relieved on the ride home so his body could finally relax after hours of being on edge. This resulted in him falling asleep against Luke's shoulder snoring away peacefully while they made their way home once again.

----------------------------------------

This is boring short and late but i'm the writer so what could you expect :))

It's ma birthday today and it was kinda sucky but i feel bad for complaining so I won't go into it :/

Hope you like it and that you have a great day/week! Make sure to comment and vote<3

random question: favorite ship? in 5sos and in general!

Byyyyyyyye!!