Depression ~Michael Clifford

2

Michael woke up the next morning feeling even more off than before.  Not only was he still in a slump but he had also lied to his best friends about it.

As much as he just wanted to crawl back under his covers and die a little he knew that if he wanted some privacy he would need to get up now.

Michael stood in the scolding hot shower almost as trying to burn away the unwanted feeling in his chest, he also heard that taking hot showers burns calories and he could definitely lose some weight,  or a lot of weight.

After his looong shower he stood in front of the mirror, a look of horror written across his face,was he really this fat? He had always seen himself a bit on the pudgy side but that never bothered him. But now he seemed to have transformed into a walrus

After his newly discovered weight he just couldn't take it any more, he took one of Ashtons razors and broke it against the sink. He slowly dragged the razor against his hip,savoring the burn it left behind. 

After creating a fair amount of new cuts to his old collection of fading scars and a lot of crying and self loathing he finally took the razor away from his side to look at his newly made creation, but his admiring soon turned into hysterics.

How was he going to hide this from the boys?  They would be so disappointed if they found out that Michael had started cutting again after being clean for almost 3 years.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door.

Michael panicked and dropped the razor on the floor.

"shit"  Michael muttered as he attempted to get the razor from the floor without leaving any wounds on his hands

" Michael, you OK in there man?" he heard Calum ask from outside the bathroom door as he jiggled the doorknob to get the door open

"Yeah i'm fine, i just slipped when i stepped out of the shower" Michael was quite pleased with himself for the fast lie. That was until Calum called for Ashton.

"Ash! Michael has locked himself in the bathroom!"

Michael started freaking out,scrambling to get the evidence of the floor as well as getting rid of the razor. He could hear Ashtons footsteps approaching so he quickly poured some water out on the floor to make it look like he actually had slipped and didn't just break the promise he made with the boys.

Ashton had apparently gotten a pair of scissors from the kitchen and he could hear the lock start to give in. He got dressed in what must have been world record just as Ashton stormed into the bathroom, the other two following closely behind.

"Let me see your wrists" He demanded as he reached out to grab a hold of the younger boy (AN: Michael is the youngest in the band in this story) 

Michael sighed and showed them his wrists. The boys never knew that Michael used to cut his sides too,he didn't tell them incase something like this would happen.

Ashton inspected both of Michaels wrists very closely before staring straight into the boys emerald eyes,almost as if he was trying to analyse if he had been lying or not.

After a long staring contest Ashtons eyes drifted to the floor beside the shower to see the puddle Michael "slipped" in

"Are you sure you're okay mikey?" Ashtons eyes bore into his eyes and he was close to spilling what he just did but he pushed all his feelings away and was left with a shell of a person he and the boys knew all too well. Depressed Michael.

"I'm fine."