these tears.
these cries
they never end.
when you hold me.
so delicately.
wrapping me in your comfortable arms.
those are happy tears.
tears i would be able to shed any day.
but.
when you leave.
i'm scared.
when your back is turned.
smiling.
waiting for the world to show you,
what it can be.
i'm terrified.
that.
you'll leave me.
no.
i should feel happy,
grateful.
that you can smile more.
be proud.
that you'll become the person you'll be.
excited when you come back.
for all the stories you'll tell.
but are you really,
ever,
coming,
back?
these thoughts.
they invade my mind.
controlling me.
a puppet.
and i'm alarmed.
how i have no trust in you.
your smile.
your whispers.
telling me.
i love you.
they make me feel happy.
but i still lie awake.
staring at the memories.
that we created.
i hope to god,
you cherish them.
and so.
i'm standing here.
waiting for when you'll finally go.
when you'll finally say.
your last goodbye.
this moment.
i feel nothing.
hollow.
eaten alive.
so numb.
my voice,
they don't sing.
so i nod.
you walk.
you wave.
i smile.
it's bitter.
and these tears.
they stain my sleeves,
rubbing my eyes.
red and itchy.
hiding behind.
the layers of smiles
and makeup.
my pale hands.
so pretty from the art of my nails.
moons.
crescents.
bleeding away.
i break.
sobbing.
tears.
falling.
so.
damn.
hard.
my thoughts,
they finally come back.
.
.
.
.
please.
.
.
.
.
please don't go.
❤
this wasn't meant to be long omg i'm so sorry.
