Up // Boyf riends and TreeBros ·· Soulmate AU

19

Whoops my finger slipped.
Book ends at 25 so let's make the downward spiral count.

M

Dad's car was parked outside and the door is slightly ajar so I snuck in. I can't face Dad- I just can't.

I heard him upstairs so I headed down to the basement quietly. Emphasis on quietly.

I threw my hoodie off and sat on my bed. This is all way too much to handle right now. First Jeremy and now this.

I heard a crash and some loud footsteps upstairs, "I can't believe... Mikes... Stupid... All... Fault... I hate..."

"Jesus christ." I whispered, I can feel tears welling in my as I grab my pillow and curl up, "All my fault. All my fault. All my fault."

C

I got home before Michael. I just threw some stuff in a backpack. I'll find a motel for the night, I can only find so much cash.

"I can't believe this." I said to myself, "Poor Mikes. This is so stupid. It's probably all my fault, isn't it? I hate this."

This is so stupid. I must have caused this. It hurts so much but I can't feel anything. Why do I feel so numb?

I grabbed some paper and wrote a note-

Evan,
You'll see me again. I've gone to the motel just past Q. I need time to mull things over but this is tearing me up.
I feel hurt and betrayed. I should have known. Before you met me it was all Zoe.
Goodbye Evan. Sincerely me.

"Fuck." I mumble, I couple of tears start to roll down my cheeks and onto the paper as I scrawl my apology to Michael along the top.

I walked out of the door and didn't look back. God I wanted to but he doesn't deserve that.

I got in the car, tears slipping more and more as I wiped them away. Now I can feel the hollow sorrow, it's all I felt for the first 17 years of my life after all.

I thought I'd found a man who couldn't hurt a fly but I guess all I was to him was a fly. He was my spider. He could tear me apart and I'd probably never notice. Yet I'm searching for answers in our past. What did I do wrong? Was he more distant than usual? I feel an urge.

I pulled up outside a store, catching a glimpse of myself in the wing mirror. I fixed my eyes but the red tint remained. I brushed through my hair with my fingers as I mustered a fake smile. I could see a student after all and I'm not supposed to care in their eyes.

I strode into the store, masking my heartbreak. I need some supplies.

I've never been much of a drinker but for some reason I ended up in the alcohol section. I placed 3 bottles of cheap vodka in my basket- you know, the type that gets you hammered fast. I just wanna forget.

I ended up walking to the stationery aisle and picking up some cheap downfall; should be sufficient. I also grabbed some sharpeners for good measure.

I walked to the checkout as if on autopilot, a small but not suspicious smile playing my lips as I danced past various other customers.

"Hello sir, thank you for- Mr Murphy?" The voice started off dull before I heard shock. I looked up.

"Ha, well if it isn't John Laurens. How are things?"

"Not bad really," He started scanning my items but didn't really take note of what was there. He never was the brightest button, "Me and Alex got married. We got this cute little boy called Phillip too. Just tryna save up really while Alex's music career takes off."

"Ah, that's good, he always was one of my best students. I thought Alex and Elly had a thing."

"It stopped when Alex kissed her. I kissed him out of impulse to try and make him feel better and here we are. How's Mr Hansen? Oh, and your boy."

I recoil slightly, "G-good. We're fine. How do you-"

He laughed lightly, "Peggy." Of course it's Peggy, "Anyways, that'll be $17.76."

I handed him a twenty, "Keep the change. Good luck John."

"You too sir." I wave a little and walk out the door. Nothing more soul crushing than human interaction.

The drive is short to the Motel, I park up and walk in to a shady looking building.

"Heya hot stuff, you lookin' for somewhere to stay tonight."

"Yeah." I say to the young girl behind the counter with a nametag that says 'Lulu', "You look way too young to be in a place like this."

"I'm old enough. My Momma sent me up here for work, see, and this was best I could find. Say, you look like a guy my Momma new years ago."

"I do?" I just want to forget.

"Yeah, she owns this cute little ice cream place. A-la-mode."

I laugh a little, best humor her, "You're Jenna's girl."

"Uh-huh. You can have room 34, on the house." Just like Jenna.

"Thanks." I walk away quickly. There's been too much today. I sulk to the room and lock the door, cracking open a bottle and unscrewing the sharpener with my black chipped nail.

I felt the sickening crack ricochet through my nail as I peeled the plastic back. Sticky.

So leaf subsides to leaf.
As Eden sank to grief.
As dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.